Now I know what you're thinking:
But Pie, how do you improve on perfection?
Alas, dear friends, this is my burden. I have no real vices (except pie, caffeine, and pie. Seriously don't touch my pie I will fight you) and I already have a killer bod (experiences may vary).
Then it hit me. I should spread some of this awesomeness around. Give back to the community.
Again, I know what you're thinking:
But Pie, it's too cold to walk around topless!
And you're right. So I came up with the next best thing: over the coming weeks I will perform no less than 50 random acts of kindness.
Strolling into my local coffee shop, I decided to buy coffee for the next person behind me, whoever it should be. Now this was a ballsy move, considering yesterday's debacle.
Thankfully, the next customer to walk in was a charming young mother with a stroller. Or a baby thief, I never did check. While she seemed genuinely surprised, she graciously accepted my offer to buy her coffee.
It went down like this:
Me to cashier: "I'd like to buy this nice woman's coffee please."
Young Mother: "Oh! Well thank you. I was going to have a tea actually."
Me: "That wasn't part of the deal." What? I'm new at this.
YM: "Oh... well I guess I could have a coffee." Damn straight.
And you know what guys? It felt good. She was genuinely appreciative, like her faith in humanity had been restored (the coffee really is that good).
Oh! And I got TWO stamps on my coffee card! Score.