Please, don't think of me as a hero.
Anyways, "Bodie" is an adorable Australian shepherd puppy. He comes up to about knee height but could probably jump clear over me if he were so inclined.
Wait, are you saying you offered to play with your neighbour's puppy? For FREE?
That's right. Because I care.
My neighbour was actually quite surprised by my offer:
"You want to take Bodie? For a walk? Bodie? Walking?"
Bodie watched the whole thing go down with that curious puppy head-tilt that was so adorable it belied his fiendish intelligence. He waited patiently by the door.
After a thorough briefing slash agreement of zero-liability, in which the words "he's a puller" and "uncatchable" featured prominently, Bodie and I took to the streets.
As we neared the end of the block I made to go right, towards the park. Bodie assured me, emphatically, that this was not in fact the way to go.
Fair enough pup, I'll play your game.
Before we go any further, it should be noted that Bodie does not "walk" in the literal sense. His is more a canter, which is liable to explode into a full run should a cat, squirrel, or friggin' leaf dare to move in his presence. His determined gait makes it clear that this is no mere "walk" but something akin to a death march: you fall behind, you get left behind, human.
After several minutes of twists and turns, I am now thoroughly lost in my own neighbourhood. Rounding a corner, we reach the park. I still don't know how.
Eager to burn off some of this pup's energy (oh my youthful naivete), I picked up a nearby stick for a game of fetch. Lobbing it across the field, Bodie found his fifth gear and chased after it.
Unfortunately, Bodie has mastered this game; in that he now knows if he gives the stick back to you, you'll just throw it away again. Humans can be so silly.
Given the combination of Red Bull and steroids that my neighbours must be feeding him, it took a long time to catch him. Evidently he has also mastered "chase".
After what felt like (and probably was) hours, I returned a perfectly content and innocent-looking Bodie to his rightful owner. Then I went home
And you know what? I think I'll do it again.