Do Arms Have To Go Up?

Because mine sure don't! Yesterday was our first day back in the gym and aside from the annoying part of having to find where all the equipment is, it was great to get back to sweating alongside other people lifting heavy things and putting them down.

All I can say is, thank god my keyboard is not above my shoulders, because my arms are not going that high without much protesting.

Apparently I'm An Indoor Cat

So running outside? Nothing like running inside.

Granted, this was only my second run outside this season, and my first attempt at the course for the triathlon. Also, I'm back on the no-carb because I'm a sadist it's the only way I seem to lose weight.

Reasons Why Running Outside Currently Sucks

1. I feel very, very slow.

2. My stride seems to go straight to hell. Shuffle run, anyone?

3. There are CARS.

4. There are PEOPLE in those cars. And they are looking at me shuffle run my big bum around.

5. I can't zone out the way I can when I'm running around an indoor track (sort of like a greyhound if a greyhound took a lot of sedatives).

6. The tri route starts 2.5km from my house. If I walk there and back, that's another hour added on to my workout.

7. I can't calculate my distances as accurately as I can inside. I like my numbers, even if they don't like me.

Reasons Why Running Outside Doesn't Suck

1. Fresh air! Sunshine!

2. I have to use different muscles since the terrain and elevation changes.

I think it's going to take some getting used to, this running outside business. I can only hope it kicks in before the race next month.

Day Five: I Feel Shitty, Oh So Shitty

Yesterday was a very bad day. I feel awful all the time; my stomach constantly hurts and the very thought of food makes me retch. My workouts have slowed considerably (15% slower than I've ever been in the pool for yesterday's swim) and are torturous to get through. Instead of feeling strong, it's like my body has given up. My muscles won't respond enough to even get me to the point of feeling out of breath.

I didn't end up eating dinner last night because I just couldn't look at food. So I had a glass of wine instead (on what planet is this a good plan?!) and went to bed at 9:30pm. I woke up at 7am and could have easily slept more. Tom passed out even earlier than I did.

According to the plan, after today everything is supposed to suddenly be sunshine and rainbows, so we'll see. The only reason I'm still doing it is because my weight has dropped, and even though I shouldn't care about that number, I'm curious to see how low it can go in two weeks.

FOOD FOR TODAY:

Breakfast - Egg white omelette with cinnamon

Snack – CURSE YOU CELERY AND CREAM CHEESE

Lunch – Tuna salad with cucumber slices

Snack – Turkey/chicken "pepperoni" sticks and cheddar cheese

Dinner – Ham and roasted acorn squash "mashed potatoes"

EXERCISE:

39km bike ride (recumbent) (hold me).

Swimming: A How-To Guide

Swimming starts with the time-honoured tradition of changing in a room full of other womenfolk, half of whom don't give a damn who sees them naked and half of whom have a constant look of terror in their eyes and seem to be hiding government secrets under their towels. Sprinkle in a few teenagers with perfect bodies complaining about their "chub" (deep breaths….must not comment). Having successfully navigated this stage, you jump under the shower to rinse off in order to keep the pool clean (HA) under nice warm water. Then you walk out of the change room and are treated to the blank stares of the people in the hot tub. Quick, to the water!

Slide in from the side and oh holy jebus, that's cold. You must get your head under water and start moving, or else you will bolt back out and into the hot tub. Ignoring your sense of self-preservation, dog-paddle across the length in the slow "lane", which is really two lanes filled with people floating in diagonal lines, making them impossible to pass, or water jogging. I can't even talk about water jogging.

http://www.lustroushenna.com/.a/6a013483f8bf49970c0133f4906221970b-320pi

These people kick me. A lot.

Ok, made it to the end! Duck under the torture rope lane divider and put on your goggles. To keep out water, they'll have to be tight enough to leave extremely attractive racoon eye rings. You will have to do this while old men who aren't even wearing swimsuits sit in plastic chairs at the edge of the pool. They will not move the entire time you are there.

Start swimming! If you're me, that means twisting your body completely to the side to compensate for that shoulder problem, and constantly forgetting to kick. Considering I have wee tyrannosaurus arms with bad shoulders, I have no idea how I manage to actually get anywhere. Stop every lap and half to cough out the gallon of pool water you've inhaled. Allow many people to pass you. Swear enthusiastically when you realize that almost everyone else is swimming with fins or some sort of hand paddle that makes them go really fast (and scrape your leg with the hand paddle if they are in the lane beside you). Swear even more when you realize the guy in his fifties who has passed you twice ISN'T wearing fins or hand paddles.

http://www.kiefer.com/_Images%5CBlobs%5C660182-kiefer-stroke-perfection-swimming-hand-paddle.jpg

Weapons of severe scratching.

When you're finally done, drag yourself back to the change room. Catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror with ratty chlorine hair, red racoon-goggle eyes, and mascara smeared back to your ear because you forgot to take off your make up. Feel pretty. Frighten teenage twigs. Feel better.

Repeat weekly.

Hitting Your Ten

My usual cardio workout for the last few months due to my knee have been 20-30 minutes of running, stationary biking, or very rarely the elliptical (I'm not a fan). This is because of a few reasons:

1. My knee.
2. Time constraints.
3. My *()!$ knee.

The time constraints come from working out at lunch instead of before or after work. I do go after work on occasion, but we all know how easy it is to stay home once you actually get planted in front of your home computer or on the couch. Especially when it's -47C. Since I'm used to pumping out a 20 minute HIIT run or 30 minutes on the bike, I don't think much of it. When I'm done, I'm sweaty - that's the goal right?

Today I decided to essentially double up my workouts to see how my knee handled the bike to run transition (spoiler: poorly) since I'd like to do a triathlon in the spring. Normally, I get about 12km out of my 30 minutes (2 m 30sec per km). Today I did 10km in under 20 minutes (1m 57sec per km). Um, WHAT??

I wasn't even very tired as I jumped on the treadmill. I've been doing a 4/10 interval (four minutes walking, 10 minutes running) to try and appease the knee gods. As I finished up my second set of running, I realized I could definitely keep going; the only reason I didn't was my fear of what my knees will do to me tomorrow for doubling up, let alone adding a longer run on.

Obviously, I'm not coming anywhere CLOSE to hitting maximum exertion. No wonder my training is going so slowly. Once again I'm going to have to try and find a way to hit those tens without the Joint That Shall Not Be Named acting up.

Random Act of Kindness #8

So first off, today I opened up my google reader and was summarily humbled by the master.  The Bloggess, one of my personal heroes and the woman who is single-handedly bringing back the word "y'all", has set up a donation system whereby her readers in need of a little help this Christmas are matched up with other readers who send them a $20 gift card.

This is something I find truly remarkable.

In other news, I may have sprained my wrist last night (some guy body-checked me in a soccer game, which no, is not strictly legal), so I've been reduced to typing like my grandma.  Also, I don't remember going to the bathroom being so difficult.

I'd like to say that my RAK was not fighting the guy, but that doesn't really count (he was totally bigger than me).  Also, I'm not  going back to jail  a violent person.

So today when I went to the grocery store (ever tried to shop one-handed?) I noticed a homeless man sitting outside.  This, I maintain, is far more endearing than some people's habits of panhandling directly in front of the liquor store.

Struggling unsuccessfully to put on my backpack without moving my left wrist, and at the same time trying to preserve my dignity (also unsuccessfully) I left the store.  Failing at a skill I had thought mastered in kindergarten, I felt like a cat who has missed the window sill and then is all "what? I didn't even want to get up there".

As I walked outside, for the first time really appreciating the automatic doors, I saw the man again and suddenly I found some perspective.  With considerable determination on my part, I was able to extricate a box of granola bars and offered it to him.  Dark chocolate coconut granola bars.  I like the good stuff.

His face lit up, first in surprise and then in genuine appreciation.  Totally worth a box of granola bars.