Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Letter To The Universe

Dear Universe,
I do not appreciate your constant line up of temptations. If you didn’t know, I am trying to lose the extra padding around my midsection, even though it is winter here and clearly I need it for heat. First, I am was making a Very Good Decision© by getting a soy latte at Starbucks, yet you insisted on surrounding me with pictures of delectable coffee treats like the Pumpkin Spice Latte (only here for a limited time!). Even Second Cup has a PSL now, so nowhere is safe from your blatant marketing tactics.
Several times since starting this fitness program, your evil mignons my kind-hearted co-workers have brought in baked goods and treats. I resisted. And today, just when I thought I was safe having driven by the giant waffle billboard and several Tim Hortons locations, I opened the mailbox to find this flyer.
And it doesn’t stop there. I get emails about ice cream flavours at Marble Slab, or I pass by a DQ with their Blizzard of the Month flavour prominently displayed. Even surfing the web isn’t safe as I stumbled across this. (It’s healthy! It says so!)
You haven’t even limited your tricks to me, as poor Tom had the chance at free Dr. Pepper (which he loves more than me, I suspect) at his conference.
Cruel. That’s what you are. Please remedy the situation by making my next lotto ticket a winner. Also, please send $5 for said lotto ticket.

1 comment:

  1. E3 your posts always make me hungry! Cut it out :P