Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The 6 Types Of People You Meet In The Gym

1. Workout Barbie
Workout Barb (WB) has a beautiful, proportioned body that she has obviously worked hard to get. She lifts heavy and looks great doing it. However, she is Workout Barbie because the gym is her whole life. She talks about being there to train for a couple hours in the morning, then comes back in the evening to do some cardio. Sounds hardcore until you realize this is all she has outside of work (assuming she works). She wanders the gym talking to everyone and wedging herself into conversations. This makes me sad, but not enough not to hate her perfect butt.

2. Half-a-shirt Guy aka Meathead
His shirt sleeves have been cut off or look like the top half of that horrifying over the shoulder banana hammock swim suit. He has a huge upper body and grunts like he's in labour during every lift. While irritating to be around, this one is at least handy if you need a spot.

3. Lululemon Model
Her hair and makeup are more perfect than mine on date night. Her clothes are cute and flattering and have never had a drop of sweat touch them. Most often she is found on the elliptical or walking on the treadmill at a ridiculous incline while holding on to the top (does this bother no one but me!?).

4. Wannabe Meathead
A close relative of Meathead, this guy often has a huge upper body but toothpick legs. He is in the gym every day but only does bicep exercises - at least 10 of them. It looks like he's moving through a circuit since he's on different equipment in different parts of the gym, but he's crafty like that. They are all bicep curls - often in the squat rack.

5. The Untrained Trainer
There are some fantastic trainers out there. This is not one of them. He or she moves indecisively and tends to copy whatever exercise the person close by is doing. They don't watch their client during any exercise, but especially not difficult or potentially dangerous ones like squats, deadlifts, bench, or cleans. Will leave said client to fling around kettlebells while they play on their iPhone. This is a particularly dangerous creature.

6. The Unattractive Working Girl
This is my tribe. I'm in the gym to work and if there's makeup on my face, it's because I didn't take it off after work. My gym clothes are ratty and often too big. My hair refuses to stay up and behaving. May or may not wear an enormous brace on the knee/elbow/ankle which gives the appearance that they are bionic. They are not. Have you seen the gym episode of How I Met Your Mother? These are the Robins.

What kind of gym creature are you?


  1. Great post!

    You forgot the "shy first-timer". He/she is the one who walks around aimlessly gazing at the machines like they are some kind of alien object.

    When he DOES muster the courage to start working out, he inevitably performs even the simplest fly with his eyes darting around, afraid, like someone is going to take the dumbbells away from him :P

  2. Definitely. Their eyes scream "STOP JUDGING ME." I've totally been that person. Still am sometimes!