Thursday, January 13, 2011

My Brain Is Mostly Mush

I have brain damage. Not in the "I don't eat lobster because it's alive when you kill it" kind of way, but in the grade three concussion with severe amnesia kind of way. I have problems with long and short-term memory. It's kind of like this:

Because I love the third panel and experience it multiple times a day. And I can't find the Zits comic where Jeremy's head turns into an Etch-A-Sketch.
For example, I have spent the last three days trying to remember to take my earrings out my car's cupholder.

Three. Days.

I would remember before I got in my car, but etch-a-sketch my brain before I got out of the car at my destination. I would also remember about 30 minutes after I got into the house or office, but I didn't want to run outside to get them because I live in a slightly brisk area aka the second coldest place on earth.
When I finally managed to bring said earrings inside, I was standing in the office kitchen putting them in when a quiet voice (QV) spoke in my head.
QV: "You should really move over the counter more in case you drop the teeny tiny ball that holds your earring in place.
E3: "That's a good idea, but I won't do it. Who has that kind of time?"
*cue earring ball falling*
To save you searching for "earring ball" in Google images (SAFE SEARCH ON!!! SAFE SEARCH ON!!!), it looks like this:

The earring I keep in my rook piercing (in my EAR).
One of those balls is about the size of a larger pinhead. Point is, it's small. And very hard to find once dropped. And I didn't just manage to drop it anywhere. I dropped it in the closed dishwasher.
Obviously my addled brain didn't care much for that earring. Anyone have a spare?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Dear January Warriors... GET THE %^&* Out of My Gym

I realize if anyone actually read this blog, that me saying this would bring ire, but to those people who join the gym for January ... Get out!

Don't get me wrong; to the people who are changing their lives, made the dedication and will stick to it, hey hats off. Those who join the gym, stick around for a couple weeks, maybe make it until February, and do this every year, get serious or get out.

There are several people I see doing this. There are the people who get on the treadmill, pump the angle up to 10, then hold on to the handles. And, of course, the people doing bench or squats with too much weight and going halfway - why bother, do it right! Errrrrrr. You're in the gym, don't worry about lifting the heavy weight just yet - do it right, and get it done.

Taking A Moment

We are a worrisome society. We worry about contaminated food, freak snowstorms, identity theft, terrorism, how we look in those jeans, if our partners still love us, pedophiles, and everything else under the sun (including skin cancer).
We worry about shootings, and mourn with all who are lost to senseless violence.
It's undoubtedly a scary world out there, but in the midst of so much pain and suffering, we often forget to see the beauty. We spend so long planning ahead that we forget to witness the moment we are living right now. I focus a lot on how I will feel when I am ten, twenty pounds lighter. "I will be so happy then." When my knee is better, that's when things will fall into place. Then I won't have to worry so much about what I eat, when I eat it, if I've worked out enough today. That's when life will be easier. Simpler.
Today, T and I have been together for two years. It isn't 25 years, like my parents, or 50 years, like my grandparents, but it is a milestone. It's a moment for us to look back at the painful places we have come from and celebrate something good that we share. I can't know what the future will bring for us. But today, I choose to find joy in all the goodness in my life, and that includes my body right now.
Happy anniversary, my love. Here's to another year of madness (but maybe with fewer home renovations). I couldn't ask for a better partner in crime.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride;
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
But this, in which there is no I or you,
…so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
-Pablo Neruda