Triple-W Monday!

Weigh in, weight loss, wedding dress!

Stat Update:

Start - 153.4lbs
Week 1 - 147.1lbs

Weight Loss - 6.4lbs

Cautiously happy because I've been here before.

And Here I Go Again

Sheesh, you drop off the face of the blog-world for six months and Bloggers get an overhaul.

In other news, it's time for another round of "Stop eating all the cheesecake!"

I could lament about how I am here (again) and have never gotten down to my goal weight (or even within less than ten pounds) but instead I will think MOTIVATING THOUGHTS!

Starting Stats:

Weight (I haz it): 153.5
Body Fat % (bastard scale!): 28.8
Chest (I blame the sports bra): 33.5
Waist (Less if I suck it in): 33
Hips (Child-bearin'): 40.5
Right Thigh (Cause lefty and I aren't speaking): 24.5
Right Bicep ("Okay flex" "SHUT UP"): 12.5

In one month I have to try on wedding dresses. There's the motivation. That and this.

Via http://foodieatthefinishline.blogspot.ca/2010/11/pressure-pressure.html

I see you, Tommy. Time to kick ass.

The Number On The Scale Scares Me

So somehow I'm on week three now of Jamie Eason's program. It is still hurt-y, but I am seeing a few changes in terms of specific muscle tone in my quads and arms.

Here's the thing. There are precious few things I've experienced that are as frustrating as working hard and not seeing results. One of them is working hard, seeing results, but having those results not be in line with your goals. I didn't weigh myself for the first couple of weeks of this program, but I did feel like I was getting fitter and losing inches. Then I weighed myself.

ERROR.

No matter how often we read that weight is just a number, it is a brutal slap in the face for someone who is trying to cut weight to weigh in heavier than when they started. Logically, I know there are all kinds of reasons for this, and I know that I'm not supposed to care about the number on the scale. But I do. A lot. I have a number in my head that I want to achieve because I have been that weight in the last, uh, seven years. Wait, what? When did I get so old?

Anywho, I want to be that weight because I remember going for a bridesmaid dress fitting at that weight and being pleased with how my body looked at the fitting (and yes, I know how superficial that makes me sound).

Here's the big truth: I'm scared to go for a wedding dress fitting and hate how my body looks. That's not how I want to remember that moment. Maybe it's stupid, but it's true. I keep losing and gaining the same ten pounds over and over when my goal weight is another ten pounds under that. It's depressing to think that I won't be able to achieve my goal despite putting in a lot of time and effort.

Am I just missing something?

/sad panda rant

Sad But True

Via www.ayearwithoutmirrors.com

Day 61: After This Week, I'll Take It

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)
Day 27 - 145.8 (-0.8lbs)
Day 41 - 146.4 (+0.6lbs)
Day 54 - 143.9 (-2.5lbs)
Day 61 - 143.6 (-0.3lbs)

Total Lost = 8.8lbs

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)
Day 27 - 206lbs
Day 41 - 204lbs
Day 61 - 204lbs

Total Lost = 12lbs

Day 54: Oh Hai Tim Hortons

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)
Day 27 - 145.8 (-0.8lbs)
Day 41 - 146.4 (+0.6lbs)
Day 54 - 143.9 (-2.5lbs)

Total Lost = 8.5lbs (what the shit?)

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)
Day 27 - 206lbs
Day 41 - 204lbs

Total Lost = 12lbs

Day 47: I Will Breathe

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)
Day 27 - 145.8 (-0.8lbs)
Day 41 - 146.4 (+0.6lbs)

Total Lost = 6lbs

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)
Day 27 - 206lbs
Day 41 - 204lbs

Total Lost = 12lbs

Day 27: I Loves Me Some Cheat Day

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)
Day 27 - 145.8 (-0.8lbs)

Total Lost = 6.6lbs

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)
Day 27 - 206lbs

Total Lost = 10lbs

Day 20: Cheat Day and Weight Update!

Wooooo cheat day!

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)

Total Lost = 5.8lbs

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)

Total Lost = 10lbs

Day 15: Protein-y Recipes

First, a quick weight update!

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)

Blech, the dreaded weight loss plateau. Trying not to think about it too much.

I tried this recipe today: Protein Packed Super Fudgy Brownies. I modified it to leave the icing out and subbed vanilla protein powder for the sugar. They turned out fluffy and cake-like, but not very chocolatey. I think it needs chocolate protein powder and maybe a bit of Stevia (although I hate using sweeteners).

Tomorrow I am going to try Protein Ice Cream because it sounds AMAZING. The quest continues to find high protein, low carb, lactose-free recipes.

Day 6: That's Pretty Much A Week, Right?

Woooooo cheat day!

I love cheat days. They really do help keep me on track during the week, and I never eat as poorly as I plan to, which is good. During the week I'm all IMMA EAT THREE POUNDS OF GUMMY BEARS AND ALL THE TIMBITS but once the cheat day actually comes, I'm much better.

We did our weigh-in today for fun before the cheat day. I may weigh in again on Monday for the sake of consistency.

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)

Obviously, I'm happy about this. But I'm also cautious; I've seen my weight plummet in the first week or two of a program, then level off, or worse come up, for the rest of the time. I'm going to try and stay optimistic though!

Day 4: Food And More Food

Food is a constant challenge for me. I like to have guidelines! with numbers! so I know if I get a gold star or not for the day. I am always worried that I'll try really hard and stick to the rules, then not have it work for me. Today I read this, which was really interesting. For me, it means my nutrition should break down like this:

Protein: 150-175grams

Carbs: Weight Day - 150 grams
           Cardio Day - 75-112 grams

Fat: Weight Day - 37.5-45 grams
       Cardio Day - 45-60 grams

Which is a lot more protein and a lot less carbs than I have now. Modifications, yay!

Day 1: Of Many, Many Days

I am so glad to be back in the gym. My muscles, on the other hand, may not agree with me. We actually got up early and went to the gym which was great. It's one of those things you hate doing at the time, but love once you're done.

I'm still having some challenges balancing my food but I'm hoping with a bit of trial and error this week. Same goes for the weight training since I can't seem to find a balance between lifting enough and lifting correctly.

We took before photos but they are so awful there's no way I am posting them. I will post my starting stats though.

Chest: 35"
Waist: 34"
Hips: 41"
Right Thigh: 23"
Right Calf: 15"
Right Bicep: 11.5"

Weight: 152.4lbs

Wow. Long way to go.

Time for a Mon-tage

So since the last time I posted, I quit my job, moved to a different city, went on a two-week vacation back home, and got engaged. Holy shit!

After the stress of all that plus the fun times on vacation (shiny ring!), it is definitely time for a montage. I feel bloated and gross and generally unfit. So T and I are starting another round of Body For Life on Monday.

*insert obligatory "It's for real this time!" rant*

But I really hope this time is for real since a) I'm tired of feeling unfit and b) I don't want to look at my wedding pictures and think "EW" like I do when I look at the pictures from the weddings we were guests at on this trip.

So it's back to the gym and back to good food. I am a-scared to take our before photos, but it's time to go to DeVry (and get serious about success.)

You May Call Me "Master of Salad"

It's ok to be jealous.

No-Carb/Low-Carb Meals That I Actually Like

I'm going to keep a running list here. Add yours in the comments!

1. Tuna salad with cucumber slices as "scoops".
2. Taco-less Taco salad - lettuce with taco seasoned beef, chopped tomatoes, sour cream (or sub shredded cheese).
3. Bunless hamburger - Hamburger (or bison or turkey or chicken etc.) patty plus all the non-carb fixins' (tomato, cheese, mayo, avocado, pickles, onion, etc.)
4. Guacamole or hummus with cut up peppers, cucumber, or carrots to dip.
5. Raw pumpkin or sunflower seeds. Delicious and snackerish.
6. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/buttery-catfish-in-a-creamy-shallot-sauce/
7. http://www.hivehealthmedia.com/paleoprimal-recipe-coconut-almond-chicken/

Crickets

So apparently this blogging thing doesn't just happen on its own while I'm elsewhere. Huh.

I am currently in a Second Cup, and not worried about burglars because I am homeless(ish) for the next two weeks. Try robbing me now, burglars.

I'm not really homeless, but I am living out of a suitcase/my dear friend's spare bedroom. And I'm almost unemployed. My (voluntary) last day is two Thursdays from now (oh HAI stress!).

I have two weeks where my life is basically upside down and Tom is not even in the province. So obviously, time to lose ten pounds. I have weddings to attend! My food lately has been horrific and workouts minimal. It sucks; I feel shitty and my weight is back up to 151 which makes me cry. Yes, I know I'm not supposed to watch the scale, but I also feel bad, so I know it isn't just about the number.

Two weeks for a primal/low carb diet and hopefully some real exercise. I say hopefully because I am totally displaced. I don't have a bike, but I do have an exercise room down the hall, so hopefully I'll get on that. I think if this shock to the system can get me back down to 145, I'll be happy.

Wish me luck!

Not Enough

Emilie over at I Came to Run posted about anger today. I'm not just linking because I heart her and I won her recent giveaway because I am totally her favourite Canuck. She listed a bunch of things that are making her mad these days, and a few stood out for me (because I'm convinced she secretly lives in my head).

I’m angry because I can’t just look in the mirror and accept what I see;

I’m angry because I work so hard on so many things, and at the end of the day I still feel like I’m not good enough;

Every morning starts with the same thought process for me. Groggily dragging myself to the other side of the room to shut off my alarm clock, glaring at Tom as he semi-consciously rolls over into the warm snuggly pit of body heat I just vacated, and assessing what happened yesterday. I don't know that I did this as often before my concussion, but I imagine lots of people (even those without traumatic brain injuries) do this.

My morning assessments include two major questions: did I work out yesterday and what did I eat. And these questions are always centered on a delicate subject: deserving. Did I do enough to deserve a day off/lighter workout? Did I eat well enough to deserve to weigh less today? Did I eat well enough to deserve sugar in my coffee/a muffin/any other food "reward"?

I've been trying lately to focus on the positive changes I can see in my body – my legs feel stronger, for one – rather than the continued avalanche of negative things about my body (my weight is sneaking back up, this gut WILL NOT LEAVE, I swear I used to fit smaller clothes). It's tough; most days, it really sucks. There are few things more frustrating than working hard at something only to not see the results you really want.

Some days, it's harder than others to take a deep breath and push through.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Apparently I'm An Indoor Cat

So running outside? Nothing like running inside.

Granted, this was only my second run outside this season, and my first attempt at the course for the triathlon. Also, I'm back on the no-carb because I'm a sadist it's the only way I seem to lose weight.

Reasons Why Running Outside Currently Sucks

1. I feel very, very slow.

2. My stride seems to go straight to hell. Shuffle run, anyone?

3. There are CARS.

4. There are PEOPLE in those cars. And they are looking at me shuffle run my big bum around.

5. I can't zone out the way I can when I'm running around an indoor track (sort of like a greyhound if a greyhound took a lot of sedatives).

6. The tri route starts 2.5km from my house. If I walk there and back, that's another hour added on to my workout.

7. I can't calculate my distances as accurately as I can inside. I like my numbers, even if they don't like me.

Reasons Why Running Outside Doesn't Suck

1. Fresh air! Sunshine!

2. I have to use different muscles since the terrain and elevation changes.

I think it's going to take some getting used to, this running outside business. I can only hope it kicks in before the race next month.

Day Six and Seven: The Final Results!

So after a brutal six days, Tom and I kyboshed the total no-carb diet. My urine turned orange on Saturday (how's that morning coffee tasting?), which Dr. Google informed me is a sign of ketones, an indicator of anemia, liver disease, and/or diabetes. Now, obviously one day of this does not mean I have any of those conditions; what it does mean is that my body was in distress. Ketones are formed when the liver glycogen stores are depleted (Wikipedia). I knew that part of the no-carb process was to deplete that store in order to force your body to draw energy from fats and proteins instead of carbohydrates (which are a "cheap" form of energy). But there is something that doesn't feel right about forcing my body into that kind of distress.

The symptoms we experienced during this diet were:

1. Bitchiness

Let's just say it was a good thing Tom was away for work most of the week.

2. Stomach pain/severe nausea

It was bad. To be fair, I think a lot of this came from suddenly eating a ton of cheese (I usually never do) and eating high sodium, high fat meats like turkey/chicken pepperoni snausages or whatever they are.

3. Fogginess/confusion/utter stupidity

We would forget words. There were several times I didn't feel safe to drive. It was almost like being buzzed all the time without it being any fun.

4. Weakness and general sucking for workouts

I added 15% to my swim time, and a whopping 20 minutes to my bike time (BRUTAL). I felt awful during my workouts and my times really suffered.

5. Losing weight very quickly

My starting weight was 153.2 pounds. The lowest I weighed during the six days was on the fifth day at 144.5 pounds. That's an 8.7 pound loss in five days (!). While the numbers are fun to look at, I can't believe that this is a healthy way for me to shed pounds. And the way I felt was honestly not worth it. I was sleeping 9-10 hours a night and still needing an hour nap each day. I woke up dreading the day because of what I would have to eat; everything I could eat made me nauseated. Opening the fridge would actually make me choke back bile (and not just because I haven't cleaned the fridge in a while).

There are some positives to take away from this experiment.

1. I do consume a lot of easily removed carbs.

Although delicious, I don't NEED to have sugar in my coffee every day. A meal doesn't HAVE to have a bread component to be complete. Eating three yogurts and two pieces of fruit a day is probably excessive.

2. Eating more veggies is easy if I pay attention to it.

One meal I really enjoyed on this diet was tuna salad (with mayo) that I ate using cucumber slices as "scoops". It was like dipping tortilla chips (same crunch) and I didn't need bread to eat my tuna (although I do love me some tuna sammich).

3. Planning meals makes a huge difference.

If you're just grabbing food, you make poor choices. A little planning ahead can mean you eat with purpose instead of mindlessly. On that same note, it is VERY easy to mindless eat carbs. It's as if your body doesn't have an off switch to tell you that's enough. When you are eating protein or fat foods, your body  has a trigger finger on that off switch, and it'll let you know when enough's enough.

For the next week (at least), we're still eliminating refined carbs (sorry Shreddies, I still love you!) and milk. We've added back in fruit and potatoes in limited amounts. Hopefully that will help us find a bit more balance.