Everything Comes From Now

Recipe: Maple Salmon & Roasted Asparagus

2012-02-28T19:32:00.000-08:00

Easy recipes that are healthy are absolutely key to eating well. So I'll try to keep track of the ones I love here! This is so easy, very few ingredients and just pop in the oven.

Maple Salmon:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/maple-salmon/

Ingredients

1/4 cup maple syrup
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 clove garlic, minced
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 pound salmon

1. Mix ingredients. Pour over salmon. Leave for 30 minutes in the fridge to marinate.

2. Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

3. Put salmon in oven for 20 minutes.

Roasted Asparagus

Ingredients

1/2 lb (227 g) trimmed asparagus
2 tsp olive oil
2 tbsp Parmesan cheese
2 tsp lemon juice

1. Trim asparagus, toss with olive oil and Parmesan cheese.

2. Put in the same oven as the salmon (400 degrees) for about the same time (20 mins).

3. Sprinkle with lemon juice when it comes out.

Annnnnd dinner.

Goals For This Week

2012-02-27T14:16:00.000-08:00

1. Drink water.

2. Plan meals.

3. Stick to planned meals.

4. Shop once.

5. Weigh in only on Sunday.

Annnnnd go!

P.S. Grocery store gave me a gallon of free ice cream. Sigh.

P.P.S. I made these Chocolate Protein Brownies minus the Stevia and water. Yum.

The Number On The Scale Scares Me

2012-02-21T10:52:00.001-08:00

So somehow I'm on week three now of Jamie Eason's program. It is still hurt-y, but I am seeing a few changes in terms of specific muscle tone in my quads and arms.

Here's the thing. There are precious few things I've experienced that are as frustrating as working hard and not seeing results. One of them is working hard, seeing results, but having those results not be in line with your goals. I didn't weigh myself for the first couple of weeks of this program, but I did feel like I was getting fitter and losing inches. Then I weighed myself.

ERROR.

No matter how often we read that weight is just a number, it is a brutal slap in the face for someone who is trying to cut weight to weigh in heavier than when they started. Logically, I know there are all kinds of reasons for this, and I know that I'm not supposed to care about the number on the scale. But I do. A lot. I have a number in my head that I want to achieve because I have been that weight in the last, uh, seven years. Wait, what? When did I get so old?

Anywho, I want to be that weight because I remember going for a bridesmaid dress fitting at that weight and being pleased with how my body looked at the fitting (and yes, I know how superficial that makes me sound).

Here's the big truth: I'm scared to go for a wedding dress fitting and hate how my body looks. That's not how I want to remember that moment. Maybe it's stupid, but it's true. I keep losing and gaining the same ten pounds over and over when my goal weight is another ten pounds under that. It's depressing to think that I won't be able to achieve my goal despite putting in a lot of time and effort.

Am I just missing something?

/sad panda rant

Jamie Eason Is Trying To Kill Me

2012-02-09T13:13:00.000-08:00

Time for another round of FITNESS PROGRAM!

I'm in the middle of week one of Jamie Eason's LiveFit program at BodyBuilding.com. It hurts me. In a good way, but also in an ouch way.

Hello! I've Had WAY Too Much Coffee.

2012-01-27T10:15:00.000-08:00

I went for a 6km run last night which was a) awesome and b) awful. Awfsome, really, as most runs are. You hear about people who are "runners" - you know the ones. The ones that clock mileage like it's going out of style, and every time you talk to them you think "damn you, you magnificent athlete!"

No? Just me? Alright then.

My run yesterday was interesting because I walked a lot (bah!) but I still managed decent splits on kms I did run completely, and overall the time wasn't as horrifying as I thought (6km in 38 minutes, if you care, I don't care, OH GOD I CARE TOO MUCH).

Most of my stopping wasn't because I was winded, so much as my knees were hurting. And not in the normal, ow, injury, way. The joints hurt. Because apparently I'm too fat to be running (obligatory chorus of "you're not fat!" from T, who automatically responds to this, even psychically) or I'm 102 years old. Either way, I creak, creak, shuffled my way to the 6km mark, and that's what's important.

Also, we're getting a puppy. I may blog about this in a separate space because I don't have enough room here for all this cute.

Courtesy Sershan Samoyeds - http://www.sershan.ca/sershan_puppies.html

Operation Wedding Dress

2012-01-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's a cliche. It's awful, really. The thought that if you're getting married, you should immediately stop eating until your wedding day to fit into the smallest dress possible. That really isn't my goal with this. I'm finding it very difficult to keep my goals in mind when I'm a) hungry b) presented with delicious forbidden treats. I plan to use the "wedding dress" goal to try and keep in mind the bigger picture than the immediate satisfaction of eating tasty muffins.

Here we go again!

Okay I Was Totally Hiding

2012-01-06T07:56:00.000-08:00

Here's the thing. I finished up the last four weeks of our twelve week program with a definite whimper. I did go the entire program without missing a workout (6 days a week for 12 weeks), but the food, oh geez the food.

It wasn't good.

Then it was Christmas, and post-program T and I are almost always out of control. It is very not good. SO.

Final Stats:

Weight Lost - 9.4 pounds. Of which I am back up six to 149 (*string of curse words*).

It's disheartening to say the least. We're back into it now, not with a set program, but with the goal of redoing out sprint tri in May, and completing an Olympic distance a few months later. I'm hoping that by focusing on a fitness goal rather than a loss, I'll have better results. Food continues to frustrate me.

Sad But True

2011-10-31T08:47:00.001-07:00

Via www.ayearwithoutmirrors.com

The 6 Types Of People You Meet In The Gym

2011-10-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

1. Workout Barbie
Workout Barb (WB) has a beautiful, proportioned body that she has obviously worked hard to get. She lifts heavy and looks great doing it. However, she is Workout Barbie because the gym is her whole life. She talks about being there to train for a couple hours in the morning, then comes back in the evening to do some cardio. Sounds hardcore until you realize this is all she has outside of work (assuming she works). She wanders the gym talking to everyone and wedging herself into conversations. This makes me sad, but not enough not to hate her perfect butt.

2. Half-a-shirt Guy aka Meathead
His shirt sleeves have been cut off or look like the top half of that horrifying over the shoulder banana hammock swim suit. He has a huge upper body and grunts like he's in labour during every lift. While irritating to be around, this one is at least handy if you need a spot.

3. Lululemon Model
Her hair and makeup are more perfect than mine on date night. Her clothes are cute and flattering and have never had a drop of sweat touch them. Most often she is found on the elliptical or walking on the treadmill at a ridiculous incline while holding on to the top (does this bother no one but me!?).

4. Wannabe Meathead
A close relative of Meathead, this guy often has a huge upper body but toothpick legs. He is in the gym every day but only does bicep exercises - at least 10 of them. It looks like he's moving through a circuit since he's on different equipment in different parts of the gym, but he's crafty like that. They are all bicep curls - often in the squat rack.

5. The Untrained Trainer
There are some fantastic trainers out there. This is not one of them. He or she moves indecisively and tends to copy whatever exercise the person close by is doing. They don't watch their client during any exercise, but especially not difficult or potentially dangerous ones like squats, deadlifts, bench, or cleans. Will leave said client to fling around kettlebells while they play on their iPhone. This is a particularly dangerous creature.

6. The Unattractive Working Girl
This is my tribe. I'm in the gym to work and if there's makeup on my face, it's because I didn't take it off after work. My gym clothes are ratty and often too big. My hair refuses to stay up and behaving. May or may not wear an enormous brace on the knee/elbow/ankle which gives the appearance that they are bionic. They are not. Have you seen the gym episode of How I Met Your Mother? These are the Robins.

What kind of gym creature are you?

Day 61: After This Week, I'll Take It

2011-10-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)
Day 27 - 145.8 (-0.8lbs)
Day 41 - 146.4 (+0.6lbs)
Day 54 - 143.9 (-2.5lbs)
Day 61 - 143.6 (-0.3lbs)

Total Lost = 8.8lbs

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)
Day 27 - 206lbs
Day 41 - 204lbs
Day 61 - 204lbs

Total Lost = 12lbs

Day 54: Oh Hai Tim Hortons

2011-10-08T07:29:00.000-07:00

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)
Day 27 - 145.8 (-0.8lbs)
Day 41 - 146.4 (+0.6lbs)
Day 54 - 143.9 (-2.5lbs)

Total Lost = 8.5lbs (what the shit?)

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)
Day 27 - 206lbs
Day 41 - 204lbs

Total Lost = 12lbs

The 5 Best Tips For Starting To Lift Weights

2011-10-03T21:49:00.001-07:00

I was comparing gym habits with a coworker the other day. She weight trains, but "wouldn't be caught dead" in the main weightlifting area (vs. the women's only section). That got me thinking, what are the top things I wish I had known when I started lifting weights?

1. There's Nothing Wrong With Lifting in the Women's Section
Um, provided you're a woman, I suppose. This area is usually far less busy, generally quieter, and consequently you'll have more equipment options. In theory. If you're comfortable here, rock on.

2. The Main Section Gives You More Options
A women's section may be missing crucial equipment - I'm talking about no bench press or squat rack, more often than not. Can you work around it? Yes. But if you're paying for the full gym experience, you should feel comfortable taking advantage of everything the gym has to offer.

3. Don't Be Afraid of the Bench Press or Squat Rack
Yes, these machines are intimidating at first. There are no diagrams on the side, and as a free weight machine you may feel like you're more likely to injure yourself or drop the weights. However, it is infinitely worth it to master these exercises. Start light, ask for help, and don't be afraid to go slow.

4. Get a Spotter - or Just Ask for One
Having a spotter is like adding plus ten to your strength for every lift. Last week, with no spotter I dropped the weight for my six set after three; today, I pushed 15 pounds more with my spotter there. It's a weird mental thing, but it works. If you don't have a regular gym buddy, don't be afraid to ask for a spot from a trainer or even someone working out near you. Just remember to ask in between sets (you'd be surprised how often people talk to me in the middle of a set!), and look for someone who is a) strong enough to do it and b) looks comfortable with the exercise you're doing. Asking someone to spot me for a squat in between his free weight shoulder raises has backfired, and there's nothing worse than having a spotter you don't trust (minus ten to strength).

5. Find a Gym Buddy
Gym buddies are great. They push you to go on days you don't want to, they help you push more weight, and they keep you accountable if you're slacking. It never ceases to amaze me how willing others are to help you out and share knowledge, so take advantage! Just make sure you find someone you can trust and ideally who matches where you are in your training (at least relatively).

Day 47: I Will Breathe

2011-10-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)
Day 27 - 145.8 (-0.8lbs)
Day 41 - 146.4 (+0.6lbs)

Total Lost = 6lbs

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)
Day 27 - 206lbs
Day 41 - 204lbs

Total Lost = 12lbs

Day 28: 5 Tips For Choosing Protein Powders

2011-09-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

Hurray and huzzah!

Let's talk a bit about protein powder. I wasn't a big fan of including protein powder meal replacements in my plan because I believe eating whole food is usually better for you. However, there are a few points to consider when selecting a product that can make it work for you. P.S. I am not a nutritionist, I just play one on the internet.

1. Use
What are you trying to achieve? Do you want a meal replacement or a meal additive? For a meal replacement, you'll need to have a protein and carb component, but an additive (as in, you're making protein bars, muffins, ice cream, whatever) can (and probably should) be straight up protein.

2. Goals
Are you trying to cut weight? Put weight on? Where do you lack in your daily macros? If you find you're often over on carbs, make sure your supplement doesn't have too high of a carb count. If you find you can never hit your protein levels, look for products that will help you achieve your numbers. Is your diet low in carb? High in protein? Balanced? I recommend breaking out a day's worth of food on a tracker program like MyFitnessPal.com so you can see which products will work best with your eating habits.

3. Preferences
I am very sensitive to consistency. A powder that doesn't dissolve well is not for me. Also, consider what you're mixing it with; if you plan to mix with milk, the taste may be masked somewhat, but in water, all you're going to taste is the powder flavour. I hate the taste of artificial sweeteners, so I look for products that don't use aspartame, sorbitol, or sugar alcohols (or that are at least low in them).

4. Sensitivities
I'm lactose-intolerant (or sensitive, or something), so I look for powders that are low in lactose. Based on trial and error, I know I have trouble with whey protein unless it's an isolate or isolate-blend.

5. Don't Switch Unless You Have To
I learned this one this week. I switched flavours (not even brands) and hated the new one. Once you find a brand and flavour that works for you, only switch if something changes, or you get so sick of it you can't stomach having it anymore. Ideally, your supplement provider will let you test out the flavours in store before you buy (like Reflex does) or have a good return policy (like GNC does).

If you're curious, I currently use the BSN Syntha-6 powder as a meal replacement in the Chocolate Milkshake flavour and GNC Whey Iso-Burst in French Vanilla for making protein bars/ice cream (apparently this product is no longer on their site?).

Day 27: I Loves Me Some Cheat Day

2011-09-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)
Day 27 - 145.8 (-0.8lbs)

Total Lost = 6.6lbs

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)
Day 27 - 206lbs

Total Lost = 10lbs

Day 20: Cheat Day and Weight Update!

2011-09-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

Wooooo cheat day!

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)
Day 20 - 146.6 (-1.1lbs)

Total Lost = 5.8lbs

Tom's Weight - 216lbs
Day 20 - 206lbs (-10lbs)

Total Lost = 10lbs

Day 18: Does Living Clean Mean No Social Life?

2011-09-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to a dinner party at our friends' new house. This is one of the hardest parts about living clean: socializing. It was a BYOM (Bring Your Own Meat) barbecue, so I could control that. I offered to bring salad, so I could control that. But when you're actually there and the lovely hosts have out snack food and keep offering you wine, beer, whatever you like, it's hard. Really hard. And these are people who get being on a clean living streak - she was until very recently a national level athlete. But even the people who get it can't make it easy you on. It takes a lot of dedication and, to be honest, deciding on an acceptable level of cheating.

We went and I did not have a drink. I ate the food I had brought with me, in the portions I had planned, but I did have probably five tortilla chips with the guacamole the hostess made. Not exactly on script, but I did manage to avoid dessert.

Just have to keep on truckin'

Day 15: Protein-y Recipes

2011-09-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

First, a quick weight update!

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)
Day 13 - 147.7 (-0.4lbs)

Blech, the dreaded weight loss plateau. Trying not to think about it too much.

I tried this recipe today: Protein Packed Super Fudgy Brownies. I modified it to leave the icing out and subbed vanilla protein powder for the sugar. They turned out fluffy and cake-like, but not very chocolatey. I think it needs chocolate protein powder and maybe a bit of Stevia (although I hate using sweeteners).

Tomorrow I am going to try Protein Ice Cream because it sounds AMAZING. The quest continues to find high protein, low carb, lactose-free recipes.

Day 7: One Week Down!

2011-08-28T21:17:00.000-07:00

Only eleven to go! Shit.

Numbers for Tom:

430-500 calories per meal (2580-3010 cals per day)
37.5-44 grams of protein per meal (225-263 grams per day)
48-56 grams of carbs per meal (290-338 grams per day)
9.5-11 grams of fat per meal (57-66 grams per day)

Day 6: That's Pretty Much A Week, Right?

2011-08-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

Woooooo cheat day!

I love cheat days. They really do help keep me on track during the week, and I never eat as poorly as I plan to, which is good. During the week I'm all IMMA EAT THREE POUNDS OF GUMMY BEARS AND ALL THE TIMBITS but once the cheat day actually comes, I'm much better.

We did our weigh-in today for fun before the cheat day. I may weigh in again on Monday for the sake of consistency.

Starting Weight - 152.4lbs
Day 6 - 148.1 (-4.3lbs)

Obviously, I'm happy about this. But I'm also cautious; I've seen my weight plummet in the first week or two of a program, then level off, or worse come up, for the rest of the time. I'm going to try and stay optimistic though!

Day 5: Keep On Truckin'

2011-08-26T20:20:00.000-07:00

Oh boy am I tired. I'm pretty sure I had lots of great ideas about what to post, but they seem to have vacated my brain. Some highlights...

It was a great weight-lifting day. I think the extra calories from my diet re-tooling really helped.
We are BBQ-ing salmon at 9pm. Because we can.
Tomorrow is a cheat day!!!

Day 4: Food And More Food

2011-08-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

Food is a constant challenge for me. I like to have guidelines! with numbers! so I know if I get a gold star or not for the day. I am always worried that I'll try really hard and stick to the rules, then not have it work for me. Today I read this, which was really interesting. For me, it means my nutrition should break down like this:

Protein: 150-175grams

Carbs: Weight Day - 150 grams
Cardio Day - 75-112 grams

Fat: Weight Day - 37.5-45 grams
Cardio Day - 45-60 grams

Which is a lot more protein and a lot less carbs than I have now. Modifications, yay!

Day 3: With A New Recipe!

2011-08-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

Today is a lower body weight day. It's going to suck in an awesome way (if that makes sense).

I discovered/tried out a new recipe today, and it was delicious! A modification of this Canadian Living recipe.

Ingredients:

3 tbsp (45 mL) lemon juice
1 tbsp (15 mL) olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 tsp (1 mL) salt
1/4 tsp (1 mL) pepper
1 can (19 oz/540 mL) Blue Menu Bean Medley, drained and rinsed
1 can (6 oz/170 g) tuna, drained and broken into large chunks
2/3 cup (150 mL) diced cucumber
2/3 cup (150 mL) thawed corn

Yum! Makes four servings so each serving is 184 cals, 29 grams of carbs, 4 grams of fat, 9 grams of protein, 1 gram of sugar.

Day 2: Ow

2011-08-23T13:42:00.000-07:00

Well you sure can tell when you haven't been in the gym for a while. I am soooorrreeeee.

The food is still good, cravings aren't too bad although I had a wicked sugar/caffeine withdrawal headache last night. I'm still struggling to find a balance between my caloric needs and balancing carbs and protein. I still look at carbs as bad and protein as good (which, of course, isn't strictly accurate). How do you hit enough calories without blowing the other two out of the water? Especially protein. I've been told to hit 75 grams per day for my weight. I'm at about 100 grams per day. Frustrating!

Today is a cardio day, so T and I are off to a spin class in a few hours.

Day 1: Of Many, Many Days

2011-08-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

I am so glad to be back in the gym. My muscles, on the other hand, may not agree with me. We actually got up early and went to the gym which was great. It's one of those things you hate doing at the time, but love once you're done.

I'm still having some challenges balancing my food but I'm hoping with a bit of trial and error this week. Same goes for the weight training since I can't seem to find a balance between lifting enough and lifting correctly.

We took before photos but they are so awful there's no way I am posting them. I will post my starting stats though.

Chest: 35"
Waist: 34"
Hips: 41"
Right Thigh: 23"
Right Calf: 15"
Right Bicep: 11.5"

Weight: 152.4lbs

Wow. Long way to go.

Time for a Mon-tage

2011-08-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

So since the last time I posted, I quit my job, moved to a different city, went on a two-week vacation back home, and got engaged. Holy shit!

After the stress of all that plus the fun times on vacation (shiny ring!), it is definitely time for a montage. I feel bloated and gross and generally unfit. So T and I are starting another round of Body For Life on Monday.

*insert obligatory "It's for real this time!" rant*

But I really hope this time is for real since a) I'm tired of feeling unfit and b) I don't want to look at my wedding pictures and think "EW" like I do when I look at the pictures from the weddings we were guests at on this trip.

So it's back to the gym and back to good food. I am a-scared to take our before photos, but it's time to go to DeVry (and get serious about success.)

The Skinny Jeans Story

2011-07-14T07:57:00.000-07:00

When skinny jeans came into fashion, there was an outcry – what person in their right mind who didn't have Kate Moss legs wear these things?! And yet, they persisted. "Oh, I could NEVER wear those," I thought when I saw them, but secretly, I coveted them. Slinky dark wash jeans with black high heels? Bright red ballet flats? ME WANT.

But I could NEVER wear those.

I used to work in Kensington Market in Toronto for a lovely Mexican/Italian man who owned a trendy little shop there. He told me I should wear skinny jeans. I snorted – yeah, right! But he was serious. He said I should show off my curves and what he called my "Brazilian body" (uhhh sure – I'm as white as white comes, but I do have a large butt, so I guess that's good?).

NOT going to happen. But still, my eye would catch on magazine spreads with models wearing skinny jeans, white t-shirts, and trendy hip-length vests with long silver chains around their necks (and of course, the giant sunglasses).

I've struggled with my weight since I left Toronto and went from walking EVERYWHERE and playing ultimate four nights a week to an office job where I drive back and forth (and still play sports four nights a week). When I moved out I thought, hmm, I could stand to lose ten pounds. That was two years ago, and I've GAINED ten pounds (from an injury) since then, lost most of it despite being in a car accident, and right now struggle just to stay at the weight I moved out here at, despite being quite active (I even completed my first triathlon this summer!).

So, this isn't a story of how I was fat, lost the weight, and now I wear my skinny jeans, hooray! There's nothing wrong with that story – but it isn't mine. And it won't ever be, not because I don't think I'll lose the weight I want to, but because I wear my skinny jeans right now.

Last Christmas I was shopping for new jeans online (which my astute partner saw and immediately shoved his credit card at me because he's awesome and hates shopping for gifts for me – fair enough) and I saw them. My dark skinny jeans in a style I knew fit me.

On sale.

DONE.

And they came and I loved them. Maybe I don't look like Keira Knightly in them, but you bet your ass I rock them with my black heels.

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today."

You May Call Me "Master of Salad"

2011-07-12T10:53:00.000-07:00

It's ok to be jealous.

No-Carb/Low-Carb Meals That I Actually Like

2011-07-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

I'm going to keep a running list here. Add yours in the comments!

1. Tuna salad with cucumber slices as "scoops".
2. Taco-less Taco salad - lettuce with taco seasoned beef, chopped tomatoes, sour cream (or sub shredded cheese).
3. Bunless hamburger - Hamburger (or bison or turkey or chicken etc.) patty plus all the non-carb fixins' (tomato, cheese, mayo, avocado, pickles, onion, etc.)
4. Guacamole or hummus with cut up peppers, cucumber, or carrots to dip.
5. Raw pumpkin or sunflower seeds. Delicious and snackerish.
6. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/buttery-catfish-in-a-creamy-shallot-sauce/
7. http://www.hivehealthmedia.com/paleoprimal-recipe-coconut-almond-chicken/

Crickets

2011-07-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

So apparently this blogging thing doesn't just happen on its own while I'm elsewhere. Huh.

I am currently in a Second Cup, and not worried about burglars because I am homeless(ish) for the next two weeks. Try robbing me now, burglars.

I'm not really homeless, but I am living out of a suitcase/my dear friend's spare bedroom. And I'm almost unemployed. My (voluntary) last day is two Thursdays from now (oh HAI stress!).

I have two weeks where my life is basically upside down and Tom is not even in the province. So obviously, time to lose ten pounds. I have weddings to attend! My food lately has been horrific and workouts minimal. It sucks; I feel shitty and my weight is back up to 151 which makes me cry. Yes, I know I'm not supposed to watch the scale, but I also feel bad, so I know it isn't just about the number.

Two weeks for a primal/low carb diet and hopefully some real exercise. I say hopefully because I am totally displaced. I don't have a bike, but I do have an exercise room down the hall, so hopefully I'll get on that. I think if this shock to the system can get me back down to 145, I'll be happy.

Wish me luck!

Clawing My Way Back

2011-06-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

I'm finding it a bit tough to get back into my training.

I went for the world's saddest run last week, which involved shuffling about in five minute rounds for maybe 30 minutes. It was pathetic. I am having some legitimate breathing issues due to my back injury from my car accident (apparently breathing is important for running, who knew?). I had an x-ray done a day after the crash (adrenaline rush, I had it) and they said all was good to go. However, I do have some thoracic compression/pain issues, and a particular disc lower down that hurts like billion (scientific term) on occasion.

But the biggest problem I'm having is motivation. And I think a big part of that is stress. Tom and I are making BIG! LIFE! DECISIONS! which are generally causing me to be very tired and eat entire packages of Oreos.

HOWEVER.

The other day, I received a package in the mail (which is in itself exciting since we're in the middle of a postal strike) from Balancing Act Clothing. I won a giveaway on I Came To Run a while back which made me all swoony and happy. And the t-shirt I won is BEAUTIFUL. Seriously. It's soft and comfy and even Tom approved (odd for a t-shirt). So I went for a run in it.

And that run? Was AWESOME. (7.5km up and down a hill with a half km walk on either end to warm up/cool down – run time was about 45 minutes).

The moral of the story is that Balancing Act t-shirts make you a better runner, and you should go buy one right now.

Unfortunately, the apartment gnome hid my bathing suit so I couldn't get my swim in yesterday. Maybe I just need a Balancing Act swimsuit…

Today is a day off because I have massage/chiro and hopefully we will be able to find a plan that can help me breathe. 'Cause I'm kind of fond of it at this point.

Yawn Stretch How Was Your Week?

2011-06-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh…that was a great week off.

I took the past week to "reboot" my training initiative after the tri. Instead, I focused on things like relaxing, and committing to a real plan-ahead-big-girl meal plan. Not in the sense of restricting foods – just a challenge to be a bit more organized and mindful of what we're eating and when. It's as much a money-saving plan as anything; when I don't plan meals, I don't buy all the ingredients I'll need, and then we just go out for food. Delicious, but pricey.

Alternatively, I buy a bunch of food that doesn't really translate to whole meals as well as it could. It's like buying all separate pieces for a wardrobe without ever considering what you could wear that shirt with. You'll still have clothes on, but it could be much more efficiently executed.

I find that having a meal plan helps me relax, because even if I don't make that EXACT MEAL on that EXACT DAY, I know I have two weeks' (in my case) worth of meals that I can swap around based on what I feel like eating that day. I also find it de-stressing to know that I won't be wasting as much food as I normally do (forgotten roasts that end up freezer burned, veggies that end up rotting in the fridge because I didn't realize they were there).

As for what I'm eating, I'm trying to cultivate a healthier approach to food in general. I've found that adding in "good" fats has really helped me to find that balance. I'm fuller longer, and I can be more sensible in my other choices because I'm not crashing. It's one great takeaway from the great no-carb fest.

Some of the foods I used to avoid like the plague because they were fatty and now I eat and love GUILT FREE:

Nuts – I don't eat these often, mostly because I was raised in a NUTSAREEVILKILLTHEM household. Also, sometimes they make my mouth itchy.

Seeds – Raw pumpkin seeds are AWESOME.

Cheese – I eat this in moderation mostly because sometimes dairy makes my stomach swell until I look eight months pregnant. Not pretty.

Cream – That's right; 18% cream in my coffee every morning. I can hear the shocked whispers. You'll get fat! Use skim milk! Scary fake creamers! ANYTHING BUT FATTY FATTY CREAM!

Here's the thing. Cream has less milk sugar than skim milk. When I use cream, I'm fuller, longer. And when I use cream, it's enough flavour that I don't need to add sugar to my coffee. And less sugar is good in my book.

Whole eggs instead of just always the whites – I still eat egg whites some mornings, but if I want a whole egg, I go for it.

Olive oil and balsamic vinegar as salad dressing – it's delicious. And filling. And it makes my coat glossy.

The other take-aways from the big bad diet have been that veggies are delicious and every meal doesn't need a carb to be complete. If you hate "diets," consider challenging yourself to have a veggie at every meal. You'll be surprised how it fills you up and helps you avoid making less healthy decisions.

Making an omelette in the morning? Toss in some chopped peppers and tomatoes. Throw together a green salad for lunch (they make them premade in plastic containers now, how hard is that?), and make sure you have a seasonal veg with dinner (seasonal means cheaper, generally better tasting, and it will ensure that you don't just eat carrots with every meal!).

Hopefully, we can think about food more in yum, this makes me feel good way, rather than a guilt-induced panic over the piece of bread you had earlier (oh…is that just me?).

Setting a new training plan from now until I go home for a visit. Details to follow!

P.S. I made this recipe yesterday and it was delicious. Slow cookers are AWESOME.

TRI TALK: The Epic Conclusion

2011-05-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

Well, it's over and done. And you know what? It was awesome.

We had early start times of 7:20am (Tom) and 7:25am (me – he gets a head start, no fair!). We had to be present and registered an hour before our start times (!) so we were up bright and early. We biked to the pool because a) we had to bring the bikes anyway, b) it's only 2.5km from our house, and c) there was very limited parking on site. When we left the house on our bikes, it was MAYBE 5 degrees Celsius. I was less than impressed and dreading the transition where I had to run out of the pool in only my bathing suit in 5 degree weather. That part wasn't so enjoyable.

Overall, though, it was great. The weather did warm up to be a very nice day by the time we were running, and I brought sufficient layers of clothing so that I didn't freeze completely on the bike section.

The Breakdown!

Swim time: 27:21

Bike time: 1:11:44

Run time: 54:32

Total time: 2:33:36.1

Which means…

· I finished #217^th overall (don't have a total number of participants yet though)

· I finished #18^th in my age/gender group (women 19-29)

Goals

I set an A, B, and C goal for this race.

A Goal – Beat Tom :P (definitely not going to happen)

· I totally beat Tom in the swim (sure, he had a cracked collarbone from rugby the day before and I only beat him by 24 seconds, but I'm counting it as a win)

· I was also only a minute slower than he was on the run, and if I had known that at the time, I think I could have pushed harder to beat him

B Goal – Finish in less than three hours

· I finished in 2 hours 33 minutes. WIN!

C Goal – Finish

· I sure did!

I took 2 minutes off my PB for the swim (yay!), and about five minutes off my PB for the bike. The run was kinda craptacular. I ran the first half (down the hill), but walked a lot coming back up. However, my time was pretty reasonable at only 4 minutes over my indoor PB. The race was very well organized, and it was really fun to see my name show up with a ranking (something that doesn't happen with charity races!).

Most importantly, I survived!

Now I HAVE To Do This

2011-05-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

It has been horribly cold and rainy and overcast all week. This is our typical May long weekend weather, albeit a few days late. I am sensibly concerned about the weather for this triathlon because I hate running about the city while soaking wet. Perhaps this is unreasonable. However, since I live in a province where it snows every damn month of the year (the first year I was here, the only month it didn't snow was August. True story.), I think of it as good survival instincts.

Here is the current forecast for Sunday (a large improvement over the one from a few days ago which said NO SUN FOR YOU and also here's a 12 degree high):

TheWeatherNetwork.ca

I had one of the worst runs every last night, which included me stopping at 4.5km to have a cry, then back to finish at 5.5km, despite planning to do 10km, or 8km if I beat my PB time (ahahahahaha). My knee was grumping at me, and it just set off a chain of "why can't I control anything in my life, and nothing goes according to plan, and some things are so up in the air and WHY CAN'T THE CAT AND DOG GET MARRIED AHHHHH". When Tom got home, I was lying on the couch with ice on my knee, and what must have been an impressive scary face because he took one look and said "um, should I go get some chocolate?" - hands off, he's mine.

There are two easy ways to tell my stress level: what am I eating, and how am I running. Considering the M&M cookies I just inhaled as well as last night's breakdown, we can safely put me in the Stress Code Red category. The triathlon is causing me stress, but mostly it's Big Life Decisions ™ that are all hanging in the balance right now until further moves are made. Last night I was seriously considering pulling out of the race, but I told one of the managers at work about entering it (d'oh) and he told the entire team in a meeting today (double d'oh).

Also, because apparently my amnesia has sufficiently kicked in, I may be doing the MS Ride in June (160km in two days). That's a lot shorter than the RTCC (220km in two days), so it'll be a piece of cake, right? RIGHT?!

I need more cookies.

It's Not You, I'm Just Hiding From My Triathlon

2011-05-25T08:09:00.001-07:00

It's Wednesday. My triathlon is on Sunday.

*hyperventilates*

I'm pretty sure someone is mucking about with the speed at which I perceive time (I blame Tom, he is an astrophysicist after all).

As someone who has never run a proper race of any kind, I'm a tad smidgey-bit intimidated. I've done charity "races" which are not races at all; this is a bit different obviously, but I kind of feel like I'm defaulting to approaching this one the same way: "go out, don't die, finish, have milkshake".

My training is all over the place this week and last. Soccer just started, so I'm training with my team as well as subbing on a few others, but I'm mostly hiding from my triathlon-specific workouts (good plan, self). I suspect Future Erin will be very angry at Past Erin for this decision. At the same time, all I can think is, will run more distance run really make a difference at this point? Will practicing biking soaking wet make it any less uncomfortable during the race (an emphatic NO on this one).

Tom was in Vegas this weekend, will play rugby on Saturday, and then do the tri with me on Sunday. None of his training has been tri-specific (he trains a lot – just for rugby, not triathlons). I suspect he will still kick my ass time-wise, which makes me put on my annoyed pants.

Here's a time breakdown:

	Erin – Best Times	Tom – Best Estimated
1km Swim	29:30	29:00
26km Bike	76:00	60:00
8km Run	50:15	50:00
TOTAL ESTIMATED:	2:35:45	2:19:00

Holy crap, I am the slowest turtle at turtle school. Following Emilie's suggestion of A, B, and C goals, here's what I hope to do:

A Goal – Beat Tom :P (definitely not going to happen)

B Goal – Finish in less than three hours

C Goal – Finish

I should be fine to hit the swim time. I've been consistently coming in just under 30 minutes (and frustratingly unable to get any faster). The bike is a bit of a crapshoot; Tom is a much better cyclist than I am, riding a much nicer and faster racing bike (while I will be tugboating along on my hybrid mountain bike). I haven't been training on the race route for this section because it's fracking annoying to bike it if the road isn't closed (which it will be for the race). Also it's an exceptionally boring route to train on; it's four loops up and down a main road.

The run I expect will be slower than my best time, partly because I set that time inside and severely up my turtle quotient when I run outside, and partly because it will be done after a 1km swim and 26km bike.

Seriously, whose idea was this? Mine, you say? Oh right. Can I blame my concussions?

Not Enough

2011-05-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Emilie over at I Came to Run posted about anger today. I'm not just linking because I heart her and I won her recent giveaway because I am totally her favourite Canuck. She listed a bunch of things that are making her mad these days, and a few stood out for me (because I'm convinced she secretly lives in my head).

I’m angry because I can’t just look in the mirror and accept what I see;

I’m angry because I work so hard on so many things, and at the end of the day I still feel like I’m not good enough;

Every morning starts with the same thought process for me. Groggily dragging myself to the other side of the room to shut off my alarm clock, glaring at Tom as he semi-consciously rolls over into the warm snuggly pit of body heat I just vacated, and assessing what happened yesterday. I don't know that I did this as often before my concussion, but I imagine lots of people (even those without traumatic brain injuries) do this.

My morning assessments include two major questions: did I work out yesterday and what did I eat. And these questions are always centered on a delicate subject: deserving. Did I do enough to deserve a day off/lighter workout? Did I eat well enough to deserve to weigh less today? Did I eat well enough to deserve sugar in my coffee/a muffin/any other food "reward"?

I've been trying lately to focus on the positive changes I can see in my body – my legs feel stronger, for one – rather than the continued avalanche of negative things about my body (my weight is sneaking back up, this gut WILL NOT LEAVE, I swear I used to fit smaller clothes). It's tough; most days, it really sucks. There are few things more frustrating than working hard at something only to not see the results you really want.

Some days, it's harder than others to take a deep breath and push through.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Pregnancy Isn't Contagious, Right?

2011-05-12T09:14:00.000-07:00

I'm in my mid-twenties now (almost), so I guess it shouldn't be surprising that all around me people are getting married and having babies. I have no problem with this; weddings mean wearing a pretty dress and ~~getting drunk and eating cake~~ celebrating with friends. The first of my childhood friends is getting married this summer and I'm incredibly happy for her. But goddamn it's going to be weird to watch her walk down the aisle. Another, more recently made friend is also getting married this summer, and it's also going to be a bit strange, but far less so to watch her exchange vows (also, insanely happy for them).

Each year my soccer team loses players as their eggos turn to preggo. And it's wonderful; the babies that result are adorable, and I genuinely enjoy being around them. We had dinner with friends of ours and met their three-month old daughter for the first time (OMG CUTE). When we go home this summer, we'll see my pretend nephew (as in, he's Tom's nephew, not that he doesn't exist), who will be nearly two years old – we haven't seen him since he was about five months old. When we go back in December, I'll hopefully get to meet my very first cousinlet/cousinlette (my cousin's first baby).

On Mother's Day, Tom and I went for our standing brunch date and the restaurant was handing out carnations to the moms. While I was paying, the manager asked if I was a mom yet – a legitimate question since she needed to know if I should get a flower or not. After saying no, she leaned in and asked "Do you plan to be a mother someday?".

Um, sheesh lady, I'm trying to do math and work out a tip, isn't it a bit early to be asking me lifestyle questions like that?! While we do see you once a week for bacon and eggs, I'm not sure my own MOTHER has asked me that!

This isn't to say that I'm feeling like everyone is getting married and procreating but me; rather, it's more like I hope we still have common ground and that our friendships don't change (too much) with these major life events. Let me put it this way. When someone tells me they are pregnant (and that person is around my age), my reaction is still "Oh! Is that a good thing?" Yes, my mouth does hurt from shoving my foot in there.

I wonder a bit if my personal timeline is that far off from what's expected of a woman my age (not that the expectations are going to influence my decisions, but really, is it so unheard of to not be taking those steps at 24?).

Guess I'll just have to brush up on my Aunt skills.

Run, Run, Pant, Pant

2011-05-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I ran (most of) the route I'll be running for the triathlon. I didn't run all of it because of construction and time constraints. It was a pretty decent run, about 8km in total (7km actually running) and it took me about an hour (50 minutes for the run part - so Jimmy-Bob slow). I'm still getting used to running outside, so I don't mind my pace lagging a bit.

Running outside is still not my favourite for one simple reason: I know those hoots and hollers from passing cars aren't because I look so sexy running (I don't). I like to pretend they are only yelling encouraging things, but let's face it, if my imagination was that good I would have thought of Harry Potter. Maybe they are just enjoying my junk in the trunk; it has been known to bring various suitors to my "yard".

Now that you are sufficiently horrified by that image, it's time for TRI TALK!

Here's the breakdown:

1km swim (in a pool)

26km bike (not in a pool)

8km run (also not in a pool)

Here are the concerns I'm having:

1. The pool will be so filled with people that I will be constantly running into other people's feet, or having other people run into my feet .I don't feel very good about either foot situation.

2. The transition from pool to bike. The actual "getting out of the pool and onto a bike" seems simple enough. Except that I'll be wearing a bathing suit. And be wet. Neither of which are ideal conditions for biking (let alone running).

3. The bike ride isn't a big 26km loop; it's four loops up and down a goddamn hill. I haven't even done it yet – that's how mentally exhausting I find that route.

4. I'm going to have to bike and run while wet, cold, and WEARING A SWIM SUIT.

This was a terrible idea.

My Adult Acne Story

2011-05-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

"When did I become one of those girls with dozens of beauty products, none of which are expendable? It used to be a touch of mascara, dab of Coppertone, zip, bam, boom, out the door." – Rory Gilmore

I had that exact thought yesterday after I got home from Shoppers Drug Mart. A lovely young woman helped me colour-match a new foundation because I'm actually too tan to wear the one I normally do. SHOCKING, I know. She also set me up with some sweet bronzer for my collar bone area because it was either that or, in her words "get more sun". Thanks?

She quickly redeemed any lost points by loading me up with free makeup swag. When I got home, I realized my makeup now explodes out of two kits – and that doesn't include what I have stashed under the sink. This is probably a normal state for many women; I, however, never wore makeup until basically my first year of university, because of my acne.

I've had severe bacterial/cystic acne for most of my life. Think of the worst zit you've ever had: bright red, giant and painful. That's what I had all the time. From the time I was ten until I graduated university, I never had a single clear skin day. Not one. I've gone through every type of treatment – birth control pills, any and every brand sold over the counter, prescription face washes and creams, wacky home remedies, antibiotics, Proactive, and finally, after putting it off for more than a year, a round of Accutane (Isotretinoin).

You know those low-quality commercials on during day time TV that advertise law firms looking for patients who have taken X drug and experienced Y side effects? Accutane is now featured in one. The scary list of potential side effects include kidney and liver damage (for which you're monitored with blood tests every two weeks while on the drug), increased risk of suicide and severe fetal defects – serious enough that by law, a woman must be on birth control pills to be prescribed this medication. I know what you're thinking – why didn't I take this sooner?

The side effects I did experience were severe drying of the skin, lips and eyes. I'm not talking about oh, my skin's a bit dry today. I mean I had a day moisturizer and a heavy duty night one, and if I missed applying either, my skin would start to slough off in hours. I had eye drops and lip balm with me at all times. I also couldn't spend much time outside, because you are at risk for severe sunburns. Isotretinoin basically changes your skin's make up, so I ended up a lot paler than when I started, and I don't tan as easily as I once did.

Rather than really clear up my acne, Accutane changed it - specifically, what parts of my face were the worst. Overall, it did get better, but it did not cure my skin condition. I am lucky enough that now, at 24, I seem to have found a combination that works for me (BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE INTERESTED):

· Keracnyl by Ducray facewash

· Active Moist moisturizer by Dermalogica

· CoverFX water-based foundation (NaturalFX)

· Skin prep scrub (about three times a week) by Dermalogica

Diet reduced in refined carbs/gluten/lactose

Everyone is different, and what works for me may not work for you. For some, a course of Accutane may be entirely worth it – and I can't really say for sure it wasn't for me. After all, who knows if my skin prior to Accutane would have reacted the same way as my post-Accutane skin to this regimen?

What I wish I had known back then is this:

· Your diet matters

· You need to use products faithfully for at least four weeks before seeing true results

· Consistency matters – don't skip washing or moisturizing ever, if you can help it

· The right make up can not only give the appearance of nicer skin, it can actually help maintain and create nicer skin.

· Bad skin needs moisturizer too.

· Stop wearing that stupid hat. You don't look as cool as you think you do.

But since I can't go back in time, I'll settle for being here, playing with my free, pretty make up.

The One About Coffee

2011-05-05T13:36:00.000-07:00

I loves me some coffee. Home brew, cappuccino, latte, Americano, Coffee Crisp, these are all good things. Don't even get me started on chocolate covered coffee beans or dark chocolate Toblerone which isn't technically coffee but I'm pretty sure has 18 times the caffeine (there's 24 hours wide awake I won't get back – worth it).

My options in the morning are 1) brew some tasty Vanilla Hazelnut coffee at home 2) hit up Timmies 3) Second Cup 4) Starbucks 5) Gas station coffee and as a terrible, terrible last resort, 6) the coffee at my office.

The coffee at my office is bad. I've tried brewing it different, filling it with creamer, filling it with creamer and sugar, filling it with creamer and sugar and International Delight French Vanilla and nothing helps. While I am a big fan of coffee, my willingness to hit up the Java Stop in the closest Shell station proves that I'm not a coffee snob. My favourite coffee shop is one back in Kensington Market. It's actually a breakfast-type restaurant where I used to get a proper-sized (read: big ass) to-go cup with a proper-sized (think of a baby's head) made-on-the-premises muffin and head off to work. The owner was awesome and despite never knowing my name, always had my order ready to go before I even stepped in the shop.

*Sigh*

I haven't found anything like that here yet, although there are some great coffee shops out Jasper way. Bit rough to hit those on the way to work though.

ANYWHO.

This morning I left without brewing at home because I forgot (what? It was early) and I opted not to go to Tims despite what the voices in my head were telling me. When people talk about Tim Hortons the conversation usually goes like this:

"Tim Hortons coffee is terrible."

"Don't you go there everyday?"

"Yes. And if I miss a day I will cut you."

'Nuff said. So now I am stranded at work, coffee-less. I made myself a cup here and took one sip. Then it sat beside me, cream curdling and floating to the top. I just can't do it. This coffee makes me think there is no such thing as a loving God and if there is, he definitely drinks tea. *Lightbulb* I'm off to the tea cupboard (doesn't every office have a tea cupboard?). It's no coffee, but I'll take what I can get at this point. And that's where I find this.

Celestialseasonings.com
I don't know what Bengal tastes like, but I know I'm not going to find out.

You're welcome.

Be Vewry Vewry Qwuiet

2011-05-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned my knee lately.

SHHHH!!! It'll hear you! It can sense weakness.

It's actually been holding up pretty well (*knocks on every available surface*) which my awesome RMT thinks is because my hamstrings are getting stronger, thus keeping my knee in line. So it turns out I was right – running is both the cause of, and answer to, my knee problem.

In other training news, I've found that my distance runs (or runs I do as the second half of a brick workout) come with what I can best describe as joint pain in my knees. Now I feel old. Thanks a lot, training. Yesterday I did 19km on a stationary bike followed by a 5km run. I felt really good (except for the joint pain) and I'm hoping the weather will hold/I can trick my bike back into rideable shape so I can try out the bike tri course this afternoon.

On a completely unrelated note, I need a cup of coffee. I learned today that making bad coffee stronger does not make it better. Who knew?

P.S. Since I've sort of been phoning in these posts, here's a link to something awesome.

Wow, I Published This Without A Title - It Really Is Rambly

2011-05-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

It's May.

May is TRIATHLON MONTH.

(For me and Tom, not the world at large.)

*Hyperventilates*

I started with my first pretend brick workout yesterday. Brick workouts are where you combine two (or all three, I guess) of the events into one workout. So, for example, yesterday I rode my Tom's bike to the pool, swam my 1km, and then biked home. I intended to bike half of the cycle route, but the bikes and I, we weren't getting along. I dug mine out of my car and realized a crucial part (the little knob that HOLDS ON MY FRONT TIRE) had gone missing, so I took Tom's bike, which I realized later had no air in the tires. Oops. (I ruv roo?)

So my bike is out of commission until I can take it in. And yes, I intend to do this race with my giant not-a-road-bike because I am ~~stupid~~ ~~too cheap to buy a new bike~~ BAD ASS.

All in all, I like the idea of doing brick workouts for the same reason I like the idea of doing a tri in the first place – I get bored with one exercise. However, I somehow just realized that I will have to do the bike and run in my wet bathing suit and I'm none too pleased about that. Our first outdoor soccer practice is tonight as well, so I'm going to have to rework my workout schedule. Yay schedules!

Or not. Just got a text cancelling practice due to cold, crappy weather. Bah.

Apparently I'm An Indoor Cat

2011-04-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

So running outside? Nothing like running inside.

Granted, this was only my second run outside this season, and my first attempt at the course for the triathlon. Also, I'm back on the no-carb because ~~I'm a sadist~~ it's the only way I seem to lose weight.

Reasons Why Running Outside Currently Sucks

1. I feel very, very slow.

2. My stride seems to go straight to hell. Shuffle run, anyone?

3. There are CARS.

4. There are PEOPLE in those cars. And they are looking at me shuffle run my big bum around.

5. I can't zone out the way I can when I'm running around an indoor track (sort of like a greyhound if a greyhound took a lot of sedatives).

6. The tri route starts 2.5km from my house. If I walk there and back, that's another hour added on to my workout.

7. I can't calculate my distances as accurately as I can inside. I like my numbers, even if they don't like me.

Reasons Why Running Outside Doesn't Suck

1. Fresh air! Sunshine!

2. I have to use different muscles since the terrain and elevation changes.

I think it's going to take some getting used to, this running outside business. I can only hope it kicks in before the race next month.

The "Reality" Of Beauty

2011-04-26T08:41:00.000-07:00

The campaign for "real women" shows up quite often these days. This morning I read Mishelle's post on Curvy Girl Guide called "Real-Sized Style Icons". The post lists her top ten “Real-Sized” Fashion and Style Icons. I get what her point is here; she verbalizes herself quite neatly.

"After all, this is not a cookie-cutter world. We are all different, and that should be embraced in our society, not shunned."

She then lists ten celebrities who all fit a particular body type. While these women are unquestionably beautiful, I have an issue with labeling them "real women". Real women come in all shapes and sizes, even slim.

Via WetPaint.com.

This is Kasia, the "fiercely real" competitor on America's Next Top Model. Can someone please tell me what makes her more "real" than the Cycle 15 winner, Ann?

Via Starcasm.net

The way we label each other matters. It's like condemning a woman for being "barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen". The point of gender equality wasn't to keep women from being stay at home moms. It was to empower them with the choice to do so or not. Telling women that real beauty is looking like Christina Hendricks is no different than saying they need to be a size zero to be attractive.

It is exciting to see more body types represented in the media as attractive, and I understand the urge to rally around that excitement and shout "see! I am beautiful!" I get it. But for those women who don't fit this facet of beautiful, we need to be better. We need to rise above any one definition, because no matter what size it is, it's inadequate. We need to stop pointing to any one type of body and identifying it as the standard of beauty. Instead, why can't we push a message of individual beauty? Who you are at your core and the choices you make are what make you attractive.

Real beauty for me.

Rants And Updates

2011-04-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough couple of days back-wise (SIGN!*) which means I couldn't work out as much as I wanted. I missed a run *frown* which was especially hard since Tom went on a run without me and I stayed behind, ~~watching Criminal Minds and eating~~ staring longingly out the window. I am trying to be good and rest when I'm hurting so that I don't make it worse (bet you can guess how well THAT's going).

The funny thing is that I can run, bike, and swim usually completely pain-free. I can also lie down (like a CHAMP). What I can't do is sit. Which makes for awkward times at work, and at home when I always feel lazy for lying down instead of sitting like a normal person.

/Injury Du Jour Rant

In other news, we are heading out to Jasper sometime soon (try and schedule around THAT burglars) for a rugby tournament which I plan to photograph. Hooray for using my expensive camera! I haven't purchased a decent telephoto lens for it yet, but I'm hoping to take advantage (tee hee) of the higher fps to get some good action shots.

/Nerdy Photography Talk

If you are a runner, or a person who likes to read good blogs, check out my new BFF (only she doesn't know it yet – creepy FTW!) over at I Came To Run. But don't enter her giveaway. THAT PRIZE IS MINE.

Only five weeks until my first triathlon! SCARED!

*Tom holds up a pretend sign every time I complain about my back or knee. Apparently I mention it a lot. I think that is a wild exaggeration.

Feelin' Fine

2011-04-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a pretty awesome day. I woke up feeling refreshed and energetic. I stopped to buy gas on the way to work and bought a lottery ticket for the hell of it. I won $15 (book the cruise!). It was sunny and lovely and warm out (uh, Edmonton warm, so about 10 degrees). Work went by quickly and without major incident. And my workout was AWESOME. It was a swimming day, and although I didn't set a PB for my race length (1km) due to some goggle malfunctions, I did set a PB for my overall distance (1.7km). Sweet! I felt strong and confident in my movements in the water.

I got home and made dinner, did laundry and cleaned up. I felt great. Apparently carbs = happy, even minimal carbs!

I find it amazing the disconnect that exists between our mind and body. We seem so reluctant to associate our moods and feelings with the way we treat our bodies in terms of food and exercise (and just overall). I wonder, what is it that creates this distance? Something I've been mulling over lately.

If all one of you is interested, you can see my workouts and times on my RunKeeper profile. Add me to your StreetTeam if you are on this site! http://runkeeper.com/user/E3Writing/profile

Day Six and Seven: The Final Results!

2011-04-11T09:19:00.001-07:00

So after a brutal six days, Tom and I kyboshed the total no-carb diet. My urine turned orange on Saturday (how's that morning coffee tasting?), which Dr. Google informed me is a sign of ketones, an indicator of anemia, liver disease, and/or diabetes. Now, obviously one day of this does not mean I have any of those conditions; what it does mean is that my body was in distress. Ketones are formed when the liver glycogen stores are depleted (Wikipedia). I knew that part of the no-carb process was to deplete that store in order to force your body to draw energy from fats and proteins instead of carbohydrates (which are a "cheap" form of energy). But there is something that doesn't feel right about forcing my body into that kind of distress.

The symptoms we experienced during this diet were:

1. Bitchiness

Let's just say it was a good thing Tom was away for work most of the week.

2. Stomach pain/severe nausea

It was bad. To be fair, I think a lot of this came from suddenly eating a ton of cheese (I usually never do) and eating high sodium, high fat meats like turkey/chicken pepperoni snausages or whatever they are.

3. Fogginess/confusion/utter stupidity

We would forget words. There were several times I didn't feel safe to drive. It was almost like being buzzed all the time without it being any fun.

4. Weakness and general sucking for workouts

I added 15% to my swim time, and a whopping 20 minutes to my bike time (BRUTAL). I felt awful during my workouts and my times really suffered.

5. Losing weight very quickly

My starting weight was 153.2 pounds. The lowest I weighed during the six days was on the fifth day at 144.5 pounds. That's an 8.7 pound loss in five days (!). While the numbers are fun to look at, I can't believe that this is a healthy way for me to shed pounds. And the way I felt was honestly not worth it. I was sleeping 9-10 hours a night and still needing an hour nap each day. I woke up dreading the day because of what I would have to eat; everything I could eat made me nauseated. Opening the fridge would actually make me choke back bile (and not just because I haven't cleaned the fridge in a while).

There are some positives to take away from this experiment.

1. I do consume a lot of easily removed carbs.

Although delicious, I don't NEED to have sugar in my coffee every day. A meal doesn't HAVE to have a bread component to be complete. Eating three yogurts and two pieces of fruit a day is probably excessive.

2. Eating more veggies is easy if I pay attention to it.

One meal I really enjoyed on this diet was tuna salad (with mayo) that I ate using cucumber slices as "scoops". It was like dipping tortilla chips (same crunch) and I didn't need bread to eat my tuna (although I do love me some tuna sammich).

3. Planning meals makes a huge difference.

If you're just grabbing food, you make poor choices. A little planning ahead can mean you eat with purpose instead of mindlessly. On that same note, it is VERY easy to mindless eat carbs. It's as if your body doesn't have an off switch to tell you that's enough. When you are eating protein or fat foods, your body has a trigger finger on that off switch, and it'll let you know when enough's enough.

For the next week (at least), we're still eliminating refined carbs (sorry Shreddies, I still love you!) and milk. We've added back in fruit and potatoes in limited amounts. Hopefully that will help us find a bit more balance.

Day Five: I Feel Shitty, Oh So Shitty

2011-04-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a very bad day. I feel awful all the time; my stomach constantly hurts and the very thought of food makes me retch. My workouts have slowed considerably (15% slower than I've ever been in the pool for yesterday's swim) and are torturous to get through. Instead of feeling strong, it's like my body has given up. My muscles won't respond enough to even get me to the point of feeling out of breath.

I didn't end up eating dinner last night because I just couldn't look at food. So I had a glass of wine instead (on what planet is this a good plan?!) and went to bed at 9:30pm. I woke up at 7am and could have easily slept more. Tom passed out even earlier than I did.

According to the plan, after today everything is supposed to suddenly be sunshine and rainbows, so we'll see. The only reason I'm still doing it is because my weight has dropped, and even though I shouldn't care about that number, I'm curious to see how low it can go in two weeks.

FOOD FOR TODAY:

Breakfast - Egg white omelette with cinnamon

Snack – CURSE YOU CELERY AND CREAM CHEESE

Lunch – Tuna salad with cucumber slices

Snack – Turkey/chicken "pepperoni" sticks and cheddar cheese

Dinner – Ham and roasted acorn squash "mashed potatoes"

EXERCISE:

39km bike ride (recumbent) (hold me).

Day Four: Oh God, The Bacon

2011-04-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

I am very, very sick of meat and cheese (except for old cheddar straight out of the fridge – I could never be sick of you). I find it mentally very difficult to accept a diet where I can't eat yogurt or fruit, but I can eat chicken wings with blue cheese dip. Sure, it sounds great, but really it just hurts my stomach. I have made the awesome discovery of Jello that has no sugar, no fat, and 5 calories per serving. What is in it then?! Colour me confused. But it tastes like cherry, so BACK OFF.

I can't even look at the leftover zucchini lasagna without feeling nauseated. The thought of eating my cream cheese and celery makes my stomach churn. Must continue quest to find non-cheese, non-fatty meat carb-free food. I did find chocolate that was 99% dark, with only ONE measly gram of sugar, but I'm resisting so far. If anyone knows some sort of carb-free chocolate substitute, I will love you forever and give you my celery and cream cheese. Do they make chocolate tofu?

FOOD FOR TODAY:

Breakfast - Egg white omelette with cinnamon

Snack – Celery and cream cheese

Lunch – Salad with cheddar cheese, grilled chicken, and bacon (mmmm) with Jello cup

Snack – Turkey/chicken "pepperoni" sticks

Dinner – Steak and roasted acorn squash "mashed potatoes"

EXERCISE:

1.5km swim (maybe one mile, if I'm not lazy)

Day Three: No Carbs Make E3 Something Something

2011-04-06T07:30:00.001-07:00

Yesterday after posting, the day was filled with exhaustion. I could barely see straight; everything seemed to swim a little. I went and did my run, but it was slow and every step felt so heavy. Today, I hit a new low for confusion. I got to work and my stomach was killing me, burning. I couldn't figure it out until I realized I had made breakfast and left it at home, uneaten. Hoo boy. The upside here is that I got Tim Horton's ham breakfast sandwiches (HAMUARY!) and tossed the delicious English muffin they came on (SAD).

From everything I've read, this gets better by about day five. Here's hoping! I weighed myself this morning and I am down five pounds from Monday morning, a lot of which is water weight since I haven't rehydrated adequately since yesterday's run.

FOOD FOR TODAY:

Breakfast - ~~Egg white omelette with cinnamon~~ Tim Horton's Ham Breakfast Sandwich (2) sans English muffin

Snack – Celery and cream cheese

Lunch – Leftover Zucchini Lasagna

Snack – Cashews

Dinner – Chicken wings and carrots

EXERCISE:

Rest Day (Massage!)

The Primal Diet

2011-04-06T06:13:00.000-07:00

As requested, here is an explanation of the ~~Paleo~~ PRIMAL Diet.

Seriously, don't call it Paleo. It makes you sound like one of those people who uses "whom" at every opportunity to show they know grammar. Well done, you passed 5th grade English.

Or who corrects people when they say "expresso" instead of "espresso". Maybe they need it to GO, jackass.

Okay, now that that's out of the way:

The Primal Diet

The premise of this diet is pretty simple: we should conform our eating habits as closely as possible to what "Grok", our caveman ancestor, would have eaten. It's fairly intuitive why: we evolved for hundreds of thousands of years as a cave-dwelling, hunter-gatherer and only a few millenia as a mom's-basement-dwelling, Easy-Mac eater.

Like Kraft Dinner wasn't easy enough? Stop it you're helping stupid people escape natural selection.

In a nutshell, this is a low carb diet. Carbohydrates, especially processed grains like wheat, were simply not available to Grok. Try as he might, he would never have been able to forage more than a tiny fraction of the carbohydrates we typically eat today.

The science seems to back this up, as the primal diet aligns very closely with the low GI diet. Basically, by avoiding carbs (especially refined carbs and other starches) we avoid a lot of the blood sugar highs and lows that plague so many people.

Under the primal diet, most of your energy comes from fats (about 50%) with about 25% from protein and 25% from carbs (mostly vegetables). The good news is, you can eat all the fat you want.

You read that correctly. OM NOM NOM!

While it sounds counter-intuitive, fat does not actually make you fat.

Say it with me: FAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU FAT.

Fat, like carbs and protein, is just another form of energy for your body. What makes you fat is an excess of energy. This is when there is too much glucose in your bloodstream, which sparks higher insulin production. Insulin is used to store the excess glucose in your muscles and adipose tissue (also known as your love handles).

So, if you want to avoid becoming fat, you need to do two things: avoid excessive calorie intake, and keep your blood sugar levels (and thereby insulin production) stable.

The primal diet does both of these things marvelously. For one, eating primal foods (like nuts and meat) promotes powerful satiety. You feel full much faster, making it difficult to overeat. Also, stop watching Keeping up with Kardashians while you eat.

Second, because protein and fats metabolize much slower than carbs, they do not cause a spike in blood sugar. No spike in blood sugar means no spike in insulin, which means no fat storage. And my favourite part: keeping your blood sugar levels from spiking means you don't feel dizzy after eating, and you don't experience a crash followed by excessive hunger even though you just ate two hours ago!

Take it from me: I used to eat every three hours to fight my ravenous hunger. If I hadn't eat for 4 or 5 I would feel tired and cranky, and, to quote E3, veritably "stabby". Now I will notice 6 or 7 hours have gone by and I haven't even thought about food. I never get ravenously hungry and I have no crashes that aren't bike-related!

Some Primal Diet slogans for your amusement:
* Grok On!
* Just call me Optimus Primal
* I'm Grok-Orthodox <----- my favourite

Day 2: Mood – Stabby

2011-04-05T08:09:00.000-07:00

So yesterday morning's excitement about being on a new program wore off by about 2pm. I ate far too much cheese because a) it's delicious and b) it's an approved non-carb snack. Tom and I spent the evening alternating between snapping at each other and laughing hysterically at things that weren't THAT funny. Luckily more laughter than snapping; I watched Tom wander aimlessly around the apartment for 15 minutes looking for his shorts, eventually resorting to looking in the linen closet and shouting "I can't think without carbs!". Awesome.

My stomach is angry and the sudden shift into dairy (which I normally avoid for the most part), so hopefully today I can look up some more no-carb options sans cheese. Tom and I are already planning a pancake breakfast for once this horrible experiment is done.

FOOD FOR TODAY:

Breakfast - Egg white omelette with cinnamon

Snack – Celery and cream cheese

Lunch – Leftover Zucchini Lasagna

Snack – Cashews

Dinner – Sashimi

EXERCISE:

10km run (indoors) (hopefully)

It's Okay, I Don't Like Carbs Anyway SOB

2011-04-04T09:14:00.000-07:00

It's Day One of our 14-Day No Carb Challenge.

Overall, I'm a firm believer in "everything in moderation" when it comes to food. However, Tom and I can't really deny that when we cut refined carbs (breads, sugars, pasta, etc.) we feel better and lose weight. To that end, we are trying a two-week carbohydrate intolerance test, as set out by Phil Maffetone.

To be clear, this is not a diet per se. The site tells you NOT to pursue this meal plan beyond the two week period. It is designed to see how you feel when you completely eliminate carbs (and that includes "good" food, like yogurt and fruit for example). If you feel better after the two weeks, you can slowly reintroduce servings of carbohydrates until you feel poorly again, resulting in a sustainable level of carbs that your body can handle.

FOOD WE CAN'T HAVE:

· Breads, pastas, sugars, and other refined carbs

· Fruit

· Yogurt and skim dairy products

· Potatoes

· Corn

· Rice

· Beans

FOOD WE CAN HAVE:

· Eggs

· Cheese

· Heavy cream

· Unprocessed meat

· Squash, lettuce, carrots, broccoli

· Nuts, seeds

· Oils, vinegar, mayo, salsa, mustard

· Coffee (yay!) and tea

The idea is that by eating full-fat dairy, nuts, cheese, and oils, you'll be fuller longer, and won't crave carbs (we'll see about THAT).

FOOD FOR TODAY:

Breakfast – Two egg omelette with mushrooms

Snack – Celery and cream cheese

Lunch – Grilled chicken salad with oil and vinegar dressing

Snack – Cashews and almonds

Dinner – Low-Carb Lasagna

EDITED BECAUSE I FORGOT - EXERCISE:

26km bike (stationary)

How Math Cost Me 2km

2011-03-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

My knee has been thwarting my attempts to run for many moons now, which sucks because I am one of those freaky people that is addicted to running. I heart it fiercely. I used to think that "runner's high" was a sick joke played on people who didn't run, but now I catch myself making excuses in the gym: It's just five minutes, I need to warm up for my weight workout anyway, I CAN STOP ANYTIME I WANT TO!!!

A lot of people who do enjoy running hate the treadmill for a variety of reasons I can appreciate, like the frustration of running for an hour and staying in the exact same spot. I happen to love that. I can people-watch without judgment, I can watch TV while running (amazing), or I can completely zone out until suddenly half an hour has gone by. My, my, it's like I wasn't working at all! Plus the numbers! I love knowing exactly how far I went, how fast I was going, and how many calories I burned.

However, my knee hates the treadmill as much as I love it, so I took the plunge and tried out an indoor track. It wasn't as great as my beloved treadmill, but it was a lot less painful, so I guess you win this round, knee. The lack of numbers means I have to count laps and guess about the track length. I kept time with my iPod. Numbers and I don't really get along, so after the run I was trying to figure out how far I went and how fast I was going. It took many more minutes than it should have, and a lot of Google Calculator-ing, but I came up with 3km in 45 minutes, or 15 minutes per km. I squinted at that number for a long time because it seems awfully slow, but the treadmill measures your speed in miles per hour, so that means I have to convert (hold me) miles to kms, carry over the unicorn, make it a percentage, ow my brain…

In the end, after a corrected number for the track length (I was off by, shall we say, a lot), and some laughter at my expensive from my number-inclined partner, I found out I actually ran 5km in 45 minutes. So apparently I win at running, but lose horribly at math.

UPDATE: Yesterday, I ran that same 5km in 34:57 minutes. Then I found the distance posting on the track, so I actually ran 5.56km. STOP MESSING WITH ME, MATH.

Swimming: A How-To Guide

2011-03-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

Swimming starts with the time-honoured tradition of changing in a room full of other womenfolk, half of whom don't give a damn who sees them naked and half of whom have a constant look of terror in their eyes and seem to be hiding government secrets under their towels. Sprinkle in a few teenagers with perfect bodies complaining about their "chub" (deep breaths….must not comment). Having successfully navigated this stage, you jump under the shower to rinse off in order to keep the pool clean (HA) under nice warm water. Then you walk out of the change room and are treated to the blank stares of the people in the hot tub. Quick, to the water!

Slide in from the side and oh holy jebus, that's cold. You must get your head under water and start moving, or else you will bolt back out and into the hot tub. Ignoring your sense of self-preservation, dog-paddle across the length in the slow "lane", which is really two lanes filled with people floating in diagonal lines, making them impossible to pass, or water jogging. I can't even talk about water jogging.

http://www.lustroushenna.com/.a/6a013483f8bf49970c0133f4906221970b-320pi

These people kick me. A lot.

Ok, made it to the end! Duck under the ~~torture rope~~ lane divider and put on your goggles. To keep out water, they'll have to be tight enough to leave extremely attractive racoon eye rings. You will have to do this while old men who aren't even wearing swimsuits sit in plastic chairs at the edge of the pool. They will not move the entire time you are there.

Start swimming! If you're me, that means twisting your body completely to the side to compensate for that shoulder problem, and constantly forgetting to kick. Considering I have wee tyrannosaurus arms with bad shoulders, I have no idea how I manage to actually get anywhere. Stop every lap and half to cough out the gallon of pool water you've inhaled. Allow many people to pass you. Swear enthusiastically when you realize that almost everyone else is swimming with fins or some sort of hand paddle that makes them go really fast (and scrape your leg with the hand paddle if they are in the lane beside you). Swear even more when you realize the guy in his fifties who has passed you twice ISN'T wearing fins or hand paddles.

http://www.kiefer.com/_Images%5CBlobs%5C660182-kiefer-stroke-perfection-swimming-hand-paddle.jpg

Weapons of severe scratching.

When you're finally done, drag yourself back to the change room. Catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror with ratty chlorine hair, red racoon-goggle eyes, and mascara smeared back to your ear because you forgot to take off your make up. Feel pretty. Frighten teenage twigs. Feel better.

Repeat weekly.

Mission:DIET

2011-03-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

I think I've lost the same six pounds at least four times now.

It's frustrating; I go all "MISSION:DIET" for a few weeks, lose those six pounds, and hit the big scary wall of 150lbs. Then, I get frustrated to see the scale not move, or worse, wildly swing up and down from 148 (yay!) to 153 (buh?!).

I recently read Portia de Rossi's book, "Unbearable Lightness". It was a chilling account of how a seemingly healthy diet led to her lowest weight of 82 pounds. But the part that has stuck with me the most is the epilogue, where the author describes her post-recovery life with her wife Ellen Degeneres, and her current relationship with food. She doesn't think about food anymore. Let me repeat that.

She doesn't think about food anymore.

If she wants some ice cream, she eats it. If she feels like celery, she eats it. And she maintains her weight at 130lbs (at 5'7", this is still slim, but more importantly, she feels healthy). Part of the reason I get frustrated about six weeks (or six pounds) into a diet is that I'm exhausted from focusing so much on what I'm eating and when. The focus is often on what I can't have, and it's mentally exhausting. I start to feel like I don't deserve to eat this or that. And I don't think that's a healthy way to think.

My body deserves food – it deserves good food that will help fuel it. That doesn't mean it deserves McDonald's, not because McDonald's is "bad" for me, but because when I eat McDonald's, I feel terrible. Start paying attention to how you feel after any given meal – it's easy to divorce that reaction from what you ate, but I've been trying lately to connect it in a meaningful way. Then, when I'm craving those tasty McNuggets, I think about how I felt after I ate them last time. Is it worth it?

In an effort to break through this plateau, I'm going to try a new approach for this week. Instead of fixating on the food (although I'm still trying to make healthier choices), I'm going to try and burn 3,500 calories this week (or the equivalent of one pound of fat). I don't know how it will affect my weight loss, but at least it might give me a week of mental rest.

Excuses And Stuff (Now With More Crashing!)

2011-02-28T08:38:00.000-08:00

So I've been gone for a little while. Ok, a long while. However, I have a (sort of) good excuse.

At the end of January, I was driving my pretty, pretty red Ford Focus down the highway that connects Edmonton to Calgary, on my way to Red Deer for a soccer tournament. It was about 6:30am, it was dark, it was snowy, and, as I quickly learned, it was icy.

My pretty, pretty red Ford Focus, when I bought it.

I was passing a transport truck that was kicking up too much snow for me to see, and I hit black ice. I suddenly found myself trapped upside down in the centre ditch with my car filled with snow. It was fast, violent, and I don't recommend it (for those who were considering it). I was luckily able to crawl out of my window and call for help, and I did walk away from the accident – I was very lucky.

However, this means three things: I had to write off my car, I had to call my parents and tell them, and I ended up with some pretty gnarly back pain as a result. I am fortunate enough that the pain doesn't interfere with my day-to-day life (much) and I rarely have to take painkillers for it (although for the first week, hoo boy was I a friend of the pain pills).

As for the car, I was a little emotional about writing off my old one. It was my first car. It was my pal. It has nice creature comforts like an audio out jack for my iTouch and audio steering controls. It was Megan's (Tom's car) (Yes, as in, Megan Fox) little brother. It had kept me safe in my scary crash. After a couple of weeks of searching, I did find a new car. And yes, I am a creature of habit.

Look Over Here

2011-01-18T09:02:00.000-08:00

I'm over at In It To Gym It Today with the post More Powerful Than The Lightning.

My Brain Is Mostly Mush

2011-01-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

I have brain damage. Not in the "I don't eat lobster because it's alive when you kill it" kind of way, but in the grade three concussion with severe amnesia kind of way. I have problems with long and short-term memory. It's kind of like this:

http://purpderp.tumblr.com/post/2318542954/everyday-for-me

Because I love the third panel and experience it multiple times a day. And I can't find the Zits comic where Jeremy's head turns into an Etch-A-Sketch.

For example, I have spent the last three days trying to remember to take my earrings out my car's cupholder.

Three. Days.

I would remember before I got in my car, but etch-a-sketch my brain before I got out of the car at my destination. I would also remember about 30 minutes after I got into the house or office, but I didn't want to run outside to get them because I live in a slightly brisk area aka the second coldest place on earth.

When I finally managed to bring said earrings inside, I was standing in the office kitchen putting them in when a quiet voice (QV) spoke in my head.

QV: "You should really move over the counter more in case you drop the teeny tiny ball that holds your earring in place.

E3: "That's a good idea, but I won't do it. Who has that kind of time?"

*cue earring ball falling*

To save you searching for "earring ball" in Google images (SAFE SEARCH ON!!! SAFE SEARCH ON!!!), it looks like this:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/11T23D%2B9cSL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

The earring I keep in my rook piercing (in my EAR).

One of those balls is about the size of a larger pinhead. Point is, it's small. And very hard to find once dropped. And I didn't just manage to drop it anywhere. I dropped it in the closed dishwasher.

Obviously my addled brain didn't care much for that earring. Anyone have a spare?

Dear January Warriors... GET THE %^&* Out of My Gym

2011-01-10T20:23:00.000-08:00

I realize if anyone actually read this blog, that me saying this would bring ire, but to those people who join the gym for January ... Get out!

Don't get me wrong; to the people who are changing their lives, made the dedication and will stick to it, hey hats off. Those who join the gym, stick around for a couple weeks, maybe make it until February, and do this every year, get serious or get out.

There are several people I see doing this. There are the people who get on the treadmill, pump the angle up to 10, then hold on to the handles. And, of course, the people doing bench or squats with too much weight and going halfway - why bother, do it right! Errrrrrr. You're in the gym, don't worry about lifting the heavy weight just yet - do it right, and get it done.

Taking A Moment

2011-01-10T11:43:00.000-08:00

We are a worrisome society. We worry about contaminated food, freak snowstorms, identity theft, terrorism, how we look in those jeans, if our partners still love us, pedophiles, and everything else under the sun (including skin cancer).

We worry about shootings, and mourn with all who are lost to senseless violence.

It's undoubtedly a scary world out there, but in the midst of so much pain and suffering, we often forget to see the beauty. We spend so long planning ahead that we forget to witness the moment we are living right now. I focus a lot on how I will feel when I am ten, twenty pounds lighter. "I will be so happy then." When my knee is better, that's when things will fall into place. Then I won't have to worry so much about what I eat, when I eat it, if I've worked out enough today. That's when life will be easier. Simpler.

Today, T and I have been together for two years. It isn't 25 years, like my parents, or 50 years, like my grandparents, but it is a milestone. It's a moment for us to look back at the painful places we have come from and celebrate something good that we share. I can't know what the future will bring for us. But today, I choose to find joy in all the goodness in my life, and that includes my body right now.

Happy anniversary, my love. Here's to another year of madness (but maybe with fewer home renovations). I couldn't ask for a better partner in crime.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you simply, without problems or pride;

I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

But this, in which there is no I or you,

…so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

-Pablo Neruda

Hitting Your Ten

2010-12-21T20:21:00.000-08:00

My usual cardio workout for the last few months due to my knee have been 20-30 minutes of running, stationary biking, or very rarely the elliptical (I'm not a fan). This is because of a few reasons:

1. My knee.
2. Time constraints.
3. My *()!$ knee.

The time constraints come from working out at lunch instead of before or after work. I do go after work on occasion, but we all know how easy it is to stay home once you actually get planted in front of your home computer or on the couch. Especially when it's -47C. Since I'm used to pumping out a 20 minute HIIT run or 30 minutes on the bike, I don't think much of it. When I'm done, I'm sweaty - that's the goal right?

Today I decided to essentially double up my workouts to see how my knee handled the bike to run transition (spoiler: poorly) since I'd like to do a triathlon in the spring. Normally, I get about 12km out of my 30 minutes (2 m 30sec per km). Today I did 10km in under 20 minutes (1m 57sec per km). Um, WHAT??

I wasn't even very tired as I jumped on the treadmill. I've been doing a 4/10 interval (four minutes walking, 10 minutes running) to try and appease the knee gods. As I finished up my second set of running, I realized I could definitely keep going; the only reason I didn't was my fear of what my knees will do to me tomorrow for doubling up, let alone adding a longer run on.

Obviously, I'm not coming anywhere CLOSE to hitting maximum exertion. No wonder my training is going so slowly. Once again I'm going to have to try and find a way to hit those tens without the Joint That Shall Not Be Named acting up.

Random Act of Kindness #8

2010-12-17T11:48:00.000-08:00

So first off, today I opened up my google reader and was summarily humbled by the master. The Bloggess, one of my personal heroes and the woman who is single-handedly bringing back the word "y'all", has set up a donation system whereby her readers in need of a little help this Christmas are matched up with other readers who send them a $20 gift card.

This is something I find truly remarkable.

In other news, I may have sprained my wrist last night (some guy body-checked me in a soccer game, which no, is not strictly legal), so I've been reduced to typing like my grandma. Also, I don't remember going to the bathroom being so difficult.

I'd like to say that my RAK was not fighting the guy, but that doesn't really count (he was totally bigger than me). Also, I'm not ~~going back to jail~~ a violent person.

So today when I went to the grocery store (ever tried to shop one-handed?) I noticed a homeless man sitting outside. This, I maintain, is far more endearing than some people's habits of panhandling directly in front of the liquor store.

Struggling unsuccessfully to put on my backpack without moving my left wrist, and at the same time trying to preserve my dignity (also unsuccessfully) I left the store. Failing at a skill I had thought mastered in kindergarten, I felt like a cat who has missed the window sill and then is all "what? I didn't even want to get up there".

As I walked outside, for the first time really appreciating the automatic doors, I saw the man again and suddenly I found some perspective. With considerable determination on my part, I was able to extricate a box of granola bars and offered it to him. Dark chocolate coconut granola bars. I like the good stuff.

His face lit up, first in surprise and then in genuine appreciation. Totally worth a box of granola bars.

Random Act of Kindness #7

2010-12-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, I can't lie to you guys. This isn't a random act of kindness in the traditional sense. What it is is a kind bit of advice about goal setting, learned first-hand. The hard way.

We are now more than two months into this project, and for those of you keeping score, this is only my seventh RAK. Of fifty. I swear I've actually done more than that, I just haven't written about them yet. I'm all like Mother Theresa, promise!

I have a French exam in 2 hours so I'll be brief.

When you're setting a goal, you need to be realistic. In my youthful naivete, I had thought I could write four RAKs a week. Turns out, I'm ~~a jerk~~ busy.

Ambition is good, but it must be tempered by realism. Did I really have time to devote four hours a week to this blog, on top of my other responsibilities? Not really. Did I want to? Absolutely. Am I really that randomly kind? I don't like your tone.

Picking such an unattainable goal was silly. I was setting myself up for failure, and every week that went by that I didn't have time to write here I felt like a failure. I was paralyzed by my own ambition.

What I'm saying here is that when you're setting your goals, remember that it doesn't always have to be perfect. Sometimes it's ok that your goal just be good enough.

Don't run a marathon. Run a mile. Then lather, rinse, and repeat.

Does this count as an RAK? Yes, because it's good enough.

Diet Dinner Party

2010-12-15T06:54:00.000-08:00

This is cross-posted over at In It To Gym It.
*********************************

This biggest challenge I find with the Body For Life program (or any diet for that matter) is working around Odd Days. On a typical working day, it’s no problem to eat everything I should and avoid everything I shouldn’t (or at least, it’s easier). But on the weekends or when friends want to get together, suddenly it seems ridiculously hard to keep up with your meal plan. TEW and I try to plan our cheat days to coincide with social events to avoid this problem, but it doesn’t always happen. While most restaurants frown on the whole “bringing-your-own-BFL-approved-food-in” thing, if you’re hanging out at a friend’s house, we try to offer to bring food (or suggest making it a potluck). Will it be a bit of a pain? Yes. Will you be tempted by the tasty things your host or fellow guests provide? Undoubtedly. But it can make the evening less about what you can’t have and more about having fun.

Food to Bring:

Appetizers:

Veggie platters
Vietnamese-Style Fresh Spring Rolls with Salmon. I love this recipe – I usually make half with salmon, half with shrimp. They are even gluten and lactose free!

Side dishes:

Whole wheat buns (what dinner party doesn’t need buns?)
Roasted green bean “fries”

Main dishes:

Turkey chili – just watch your portion size, and bring low-fat cheese if you’re going to top it
Pre-made grilled chicken burritos – these look really good although I would personally probably drop either the sour cream, cheese, or both
Healthy Shepherd’s Pie – it honestly tastes really good – I like it more than the traditional recipe!

Desserts:

Fruit platters (just avoid the dip yourself if you’re buying one pre-made)
Protein pudding

What are your food tricks of the trade?

2010-12-14T17:50:00.000-08:00

Do you hear that folks? That soft, almost-footstep like sound (but muffled because if it were footsteps they would be treading on what is literally an oceans worth of snow). That's the sound of Christmas creeping closer. Do you know what comes with Christmas?

Vacation Time.

Because my boss has kids she closes the restaurant from Christmas Day til after the New Year.

Do you KNOW how AMAZING this is? For someone who sold their soul to the service industry to have 10 (TEN!) whole days off in a row? For once I don't have to look upon my corporate friends with envy as they relish in their 'paid vacation time.' and 'sick days,' and 'weekends.'

However, unfortunately, because I am a service industry slave 10 days of no work means 10 days of no tips, combined with this wallet-sucking-time-of-year equals no elaborate holiday plans for me.

But do you know what it does mean?

Sleep. A lot of it. And snowboarding. And eating more than just a piece of toast and 27 cups of coffee in a day. And not standing for 8 hours. And wearing NAIL POLISH.

I AM SO EXCITED.

I've made pretty good writing progress as well, I think it's a combination of my tenure as "Marci The Restaurant Scapegoat" coming to an end, and my bosses acknowledgment that it has been a solid 3 weeks of her not making me cry that allows me to write candidly about life without suffering from PTSD flashbacks.

All in all, December, you've been a kick ass month.

Now, if only we could do something about this whole 'winter' thing...

The Never-Ending Saga of My Knee

2010-12-14T13:28:00.000-08:00

Here is the (longest ever) cliffnotes version:

· In November 2009, I doubled up my training to get ready for the Ride to Conquer Cancer. That meant I was working out six or seven days a week, three days of which were twice a day. Yeah, I know, it's shocking that I injured myself.

· I started to feel "off" in my knee when I was running or cycling. Because I am smart, I ignored it.

· Then I hit actual pain. At first, just after I worked out, but eventually I got to the point where walking hurt. Standing hurt. Yoga hurt.

· I started chiropractic treatment and massage therapy (heart) in January and while it helped a lot of things, it didn't seem to address the cause (which remained a mystery).

· I made an appointment with a knee specialist who without examining me told me I was wasting his time and that I didn't have a knee problem. Despite having pain. In my knee. He then said although he didn't think I had anything wrong, his $900 custom orthotics might help. (*gives finger to "doctor"*)

· At the start of May 2010, I stopped all exercise for two months, which made me a joy to live with (sorry, Tom!).

· During those two months, I gained 15 pounds (*gives the finger to knee*)

http://www.infobarrel.com/media/image/14005.jpg

· My first activity back was the Ride to Conquer Cancer – two days, 220kms of cycling through southern Alberta. With no training. Don't do that. (Do it with training though!)

· Good lord are you still reading this? I'll have to send you cookies.

· About a month ago, I went in for physio (heart) and was recommended to try IMS (like acupuncture except they poke the muscle that is injured and not your eyebrow) to loosen the death grip my adductor had on my MCL, and to loosen my calf muscle which was "UNACCEPTABLY TIGHT FOR A RUNNER" according to Physio Dude.

· Turns out those muscles were holding my leg together.

· After a week of having a completely useless right leg and spending my time picking out fake legs, Physio Dude eliminated the muscle tightness as the source, and did some active release and ultrasound work on my MCL.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1028/1242212439_5f1eba957f.jpg?v=0

Dog must be included.

· And that was awesome. I could walk! With no pain!

· But then I ran.

· *Sigh*

· And it continues…at least with icing, my brace, and active release work by Physio Dude (HEART), it seems possible that I might run for more! Than! Ten! Minutes! at a time.

Luckily, I've started interval training…take that, knee!

Random Act of Kindness # 6

2010-12-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

Hello fellow Resolutionaries! Viva la Resolucion!

So I'm back. School is done for the semester, so it's time to catch up on some long overdue ~~sleep~~ ~~food that doesn't say "easy" or "minute" on it~~ writing.

Rest assured, I have been racking up the good deeds. I am so getting canonized (the Vatican's just catching up with the paperwork).

For my latest hobby (read: procrastination tactic) I've taken up origami. Which, by the way, is awesome. Right up until you realize you just folded your title page into a crane.

So while I was "working" in the coffee shop, I took a break (from reading Penny Arcade) to make an origami flower. The youtube video says it takes five minutes. Mine took forty-five minutes.

As it turns out, I have the dexterity of a two year old. Who knew?

Thoroughly absorbed in the task I hardly noticed that I'd gained somewhat of an audience (seriously, I was staring at this piece of paper like I was trying to melt it with my eyes). Evidently the mother and child beside me were thoroughly fascinated by my efforts.

They made a game of guessing what I was trying to make. Turns out the kid guessed flower. On like the third fold. Because, clearly, she's a witch.

So when I finished, I gave it to her. So she wouldn't hex me.

And it made her day.

Besides, the last thing I needed was physical proof of my procrastination.

2010-12-01T07:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, I'm a bad resolution-er.

I know this about myself. That resolution to stop biting my nails? I made that four years ago. I'm STILL working on it. Sometimes I'm not working at it all but I recognize that it's a terrible habit and that I shouldn't do it. And the first step in anything is admittance right? I'm the QUEEN of admittance. It's the follow-up steps of action, to change the thing you're admitting needs to changing -that- I'm completely apathetic about.

But regardless. I think about writing all the time. I read something the other day that writers are writers because it's the only thing they cannot stop themselves from doing compulsively. (I think drugs and alcohol were excluded from that statement). But I think what the person meant was that writers always feel the need to write. They want to document everything. They write about whatever they write about because that's how they express themselves. I think the same is true for all artists. Don't painters paint because that's how they express themselves?

This is not true for me. I don't write compulsively. I think compulsively. Like I said earlier I am the master of no follow-through. It doesn't matter if it's something I really enjoy doing or want to do (like writing) or if it's something I've agreed I'll do for a set period of time (like contribute to this blog, where presumably the social pressure of following through on an agreement would motivate me to keep going) or something I need to do for my health (like flossing. I fear cavities like I fear the dark: a lot. And yet I still am only an occasional flosser)

But when I go to bed at night, I feel like I write whole novels in my head. I think about all the things I would love to commit to paper. But I just don't do it. I don't know why.

Now I suppose I could resolve to change that, but let's be honest here, how successful do you think that would be?

Now if you're still with me, I'd like to talk about what has prompted this dialogue of self-examination. (If you're not, well, I feel partly responsible so I'm sorry you've had to wade through my psychosis this morning.)

It's finally starting to look like winter here in my beautiful little town, in my new pretty yellow house. Winter (at least the start of it) is one of my most favorite times of the year. Whenit snows and everything looks fresh and new, like it has never been touched by anything but the purity of new snowfalls. I think of all the fun things that go with winter, skating in the moonlight, drinking hot chocolate at hockey games, flannel pajamas, and Baileys in your morning coffee. This is excluding all the Christmas greatness: family and friends coming together, giving the perfect gift that makes someones whole face light up, cooking (and eating!) delicious foods. The beginning of winter is just fantastic. And I wanted to share my love of this time of year.

It makes me nostalgic. I think about winters past, like the winter I spent working at my previous summer job, surrounded by co-workers who were just so unique, and so great. And I worked with the boy that I had fallen for, and despite everything that has happened since I always look back on that December and feel like it was all about love, and warmth, and happiness.

Or the Christmas I spent in Vancouver, the winter it really, really, snowed. My grandfather had to shovel the roof it snowed so much. We made snowmen and had a snowball fight, and skated on the now completely frozen backyard pool. It was perfect.

So now I'm anxious to see what this winter brings into my life. I've started over in a brand new town, I've moved into my first real (well 3/4 of a real) house. I can see big fat flakes falling outside from my kitchen window. I'm going to take my day off today and make cinnamon buns and head out into the town to start my Christmas shopping. I'm going to wear my new red winter coat, my winter hat and boots, and celebrate my favorite time of year with hot chocolate.

My Christmas wish this year is for something amazing to happen, something to make it all magical, more magical than usual. I just want this winter to shine brighter than the ones before it.

Or maybe that's just my boozy coffee talking. :) Happy December 1st everyone!

How video games made me a better person.

2010-11-26T14:18:00.000-08:00

Video games have made me a better person, and I can prove it. It's not just because now a headshot from 300 yrds with a scoped hand gun isn't a challenge (thanks Halo), or that fighting 5-10 thugs at a time is about as challenging as pressing x 23 times (actually it's exactly that difficult, thanks Batman Arkham Asylum).

Actually my experience comes from Star Trek Online. Yesterday, while playing a mission in game, I was confronted with an issue of whether to let some shady business man keep cheating, or to tell the station commander. It was a dilemma as it was a trader I could get some good deals off. I remember thinking that I wasn't going to jeopardize my career, to get a deal.' So I told the station commander.

As part of my job, I advised my company to use a particular data back up company, that used a third party as contractors to provide hardware in our region. The company I deal with had me move all my backups as they had told me that that relationship had gone sour and they were now contracting with a new hardware vendor.
I got a call today from the previous hardware people, claiming that the dealer was basically scum, not paying bills and were not reliable to work with 'wink wink' and that the too provided back up services, and as they were in the region they would be happy to take us on as clients.

My initial reaction was 'wtf mate (with mandatory attempt at Australian accent'). After thinking about it, I realized that of course there was payment issues, it was being withheld as ontracts hadn't been fufilled and that's why the switch... long story short (I know too late, shut up). I brushed the call off, but should I the tell backup people or not that these guys were slagging them? I literally flashed back to the game the previous night and thought 'It's all about honour.' So I called the company and yeah these guys had attempted this with 3-4 other former clients and lawyers were getting involved. In anycase I feel I did the right thing, and a company isn't going to gain by being douchecanoes.

So next time someone says video games are evil, remember there are lessons to be learned everywhere.

If It Hurts, Poke It With A Needle

2010-11-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

I started IMS treatments this week for my knee. It's basically acupuncture but they stick the needles directly into the injured muscle, push them in deeper, and wiggle them around. No, I'm not kidding.

This is sharp.

The physiotherapist working on me did a great job of explaining what he was doing and making me feel comfortable. But there's only so much you can do - he's still poking sharp needles into my leg. He used about 30 needles in various spots along the inside of my calf up to my knee and just above it.

If you've ever had acupuncture, you'll know that the needles don't really hurt. The practitioner kinda flicks them in and that's basically all it feels like - someone flicking your skin with their fingers. For the first 29 holes I barely felt it, with maybe two or three that were a little more tender.

Then there was the last needle. Um, OW.

Right now my leg just feels sore as if I had a good workout, so we'll see if I get any nice bruises for tomorrow!

Random Act of Kindness #5

2010-11-13T10:50:00.000-08:00

This one should totally count as like ten RAKs. Today I went way outside my comfort zone and took part in Not That Kind of Girl's fabulous prisoner pen-pal program

One would think it would be hard to be pen pals with someone in whom I have nothing in common with. But who knows, maybe if the law catches up with me (I don't have lights on my bike. I'm kind of a badass) we'll have more in common than I thought!

After browsing through a number of profiles, I finally selected a fellow human being to correspond with.

Here's what I wrote her:

Hi xxxxx!

Last time I checked Hallmark didn’t make cards for this, so I had to make do with what I could find. So Happy Bar Mitzvah, Grandson!

When it was suggested to me that I check out writeaprisoner.com, I was immediately put off by the number of shirtless men seeking “mailbox romance”.

Now, I read on the site that they don’t allow Internet access, but let me assure you, I don’t have to visit writeaprisoner.com to find topless dudes!

Then I stumbled across your profile and my faith was restored. A real (and fully-clothed) person!

Your profile touched me. Your writing exudes a strength of character that is both rare and admirable – a remarkableness spirit that I could not hope to match. Seriously, I get upset when I burn my tongue on my coffee!

I can’t pretend to relate to what you’ve been through, but I DID once walk into a coffee shop and ask the girl behind the counter “What’s your cup size?” True story.

But enough about me. How are you?

That is really cool that you want to start a non-profit. Any ideas what it will be called?

I noticed your birthday’s coming up, and I know they make cards for that!

Hope all’s well with you.

Keep being awesome!

Grady

This was a really easy way to share a little humanity. I encourage anyone who's interested to check out NTKOG's penpal program through www.writeaprisoner.com

Better late then never.

2010-11-11T18:46:00.000-08:00

Measurements 5 weeks in (starting just a bit late measuring but I was here)
With no post work out pump.
Weight 206.5
chest 41.0 -43.0 flexed
waist 36.25
hips 40.5
quads 26.0
biceps 14.5-16.5 flexed.

Weigh-In Monday: I'll Take It

2010-11-08T21:13:00.000-08:00

Weight BF % Chest Waist Hips Right Thigh Right Bicep (flexed)
154.3 30.1 37" 33" 41.5" 24.5" 12.5"
148.9 28.5 35" 32.5" 41" 23" 12.5"
150.3 29.0 35" 31" 40.75" 24" 12"
150.8 29.5 35" 31" 40.25" 23" 12"
150.5 29.1 36" 31" 41" 23" 12"
149.4 28.3 35" 30.5" 41" 23" 12"

Total Weight Lost: -1.1lbs
Total Inches Lost: -1.5

Yay less than 150!!!

Size matters

2010-11-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

Despite what the commercials want you to believe smaller is better. I'm of course talking about portion sizes. It's really the key to losing weight and allowing your body to properly use the energy it's receiving. When you over eat your body doesn't have a chance to absorb all the nutrients you've just taken in, also your body takes the excess carbohydrates and sugars and stores then as fatty tissue when you over indulge.

To lose weight and feel better, eat smaller meals but more of them. The key for me is preparing food ahead of time then eating (a protein about the size of your palm, and a carb/fruit/vegitable about the size of your fist). Then wait a half hour to see if you're actually still hungry, you'll find 9/10 times that you aren't and that if you are a full glass of water will curtail that.

Cheers

Weigh-In Monday...Err...Whenever I Feel Like It

2010-11-04T07:06:00.000-07:00

You can find me over here today (err...recently)

Weight BF % Chest Waist Hips Right Thigh Right Bicep (flexed)
154.3 30.1 37" 33" 41.5" 24.5" 12.5"
148.9 28.5 35" 32.5" 41" 23" 12.5"
150.3 29.0 35" 31" 40.75" 24" 12"
150.8 29.5 35" 31" 40.25" 23" 12"
150.5 29.1 36" 31" 41" 23" 12"

Total Weight Lost: -0.3lbs
Total Inches Lost: +1.75"

The numbers are still pretty steady, but still frustrating. I am trying instead to focus on what HAS changed. Physically, my clothes are starting to fit better which is awesome. My calves and legs in general are starting to gain definition. And on Tuesday, I had a great game with Fusion. All of these are positives that I am choosing to think about, rather than get bummed over the numbers. Ommm...

Keeping Perspective

2010-10-28T19:11:00.000-07:00

So my last weigh in sucked. I've been really frustrated this week because I keep weighing myself every day or so (big mistake, I know) and some days I weigh in just as high as my starting weight. That, to put it lightly, is disheartening.

I took a few days to be a bit pissed and tried to channel that into my workouts. But today, I noticed something. I absentmindedly (read: while still asleep) put on a button-up shirt this morning that I hadn't worn in a while. I hadn't worn it, because when I did it was so tight the buttons would pull and be really uncomfortable (not to mention flattering!). Today, though, it fit noticeably better. It was still snug, but it didn't pull, nor make me look like a sausage escaping its casing.

And for today? That's enough.

Weigh-In Monday #4 - Stuck At 150

2010-10-27T07:16:00.000-07:00

Weight BF % Chest Waist Hips Right Thigh Right Bicep (flexed)
154.3 30.1 37" 33" 41.5" 24.5" 12.5"
148.9 28.5 35" 32.5" 41" 23" 12.5"
150.3 29.0 35" 31" 40.75" 24" 12"
150.8 29.5 35" 31" 40.25" 23" 12"

Total Weight Lost: +0.5lbs
Total Inches Lost: -1.5"

Yikes, weight plateaus suck.

Random Act of Kindness #4

2010-10-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

Today I was walking down the street, thoroughly stumped as to what my next random act would be, when suddenly it hit me. In the form of a bus.

But Pie! There's still so much we wanted to tell you. We were supposed to be together. Forever.
Fear not readers, the "hit" was metaphorical. The bus was not.

Also, we're pregnant.
......

So the bus goes by and on it is an ad telling me to text "MEAL" to 45678 and it will give $10 to the Ottawa mission. Perfect! I did a good deed using only my cell phone! And not just by sexting. (Hello RAK #5)

C'mon Pie, does that really count?
Does my monthly donation to Greenpeace count? The answer is Hell Yeah it does! What? You guys don't make the rules.

So here I am on my way to buy groceries and my next RAK literally (metaphorically) hits me in the face! Evidently god is speaking to me. Again. (I haven't been taking my meds)

I should have my own holiday.

ZOMG That's Healthy!

2010-10-23T22:53:00.000-07:00

Sometime over the past year, my most favouritest recipe site Recipezaar.com was bought out or possibly won over a foolish ultimate frisbee bet. All I know is that now it is called food.com and is a giant pain in the ass to navigate and is constantly giving me HTTP errors when I am trying to do something so offensive as save recipes to my profile (the nerve I have!). To that end, I'm starting a segment called "ZOMG That's Healthy! Recipes" (name inspired by my Lil' Sister).

Recipe The First: Tom's Tasty Breakfast Pancake

3/4 cup Quaker oats

1/2 cup egg whites

1/2 cup milk (or milk alternative)

Cinnamon (to taste)

Nutmeg (to taste)

A sprinkle of brown sugar (if you want to be a little bad)

*You'll probably want to play with the quantities to get it right for you and how much pancake you want to eat in the morning (does that sound dirty?)*

1. Combine ingredients in a bowl the night before (probably at 1:30am because you're busy playing video games).

2. Put bowl in fridge. Go to sleep. Snore and steal all blankets.

3. Stumble out of bed after alarm goes off for the third time. Dump contents of bowl in small frying pan and set on medium heat. Wander off until you smell burning, or until you can use a spatula under the edges of pancake and it doesn't call apart. Flip. Cooking time will depend on how big your pancake is (I can hear LiLu saying "TWSS").

4. Eat. Don't be hungry again for at least an hour if you're Tom, never be hungry again if you're me (hooray!).

I'm On To You, Girl Guides

2010-10-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

Look down, now back up at me, where am I? I'm over here at In It To Gym It.

*****************************

Tomorrow is Cookie Day at Sears. If you've never heard of it, you're not alone. Apparently, the solution to people who want to buy Girl Guide cookies but don't know/live near any child ~~hocking~~ lovingly selling them. Clearly this is an offensive play by the Universe to sabotage my diet. CLEARLY.

As a general rule, I don't bring anything I can't eat into the house. I also don't bring in anything sharp if I can help it, but that's neither here nor there. My willpower starts and quickly ends at the purchasing part of the equation; once it's accessible, it's going to get eaten.

My one bizarre exception is if I buy something sweet, then put it in the freezer. There, it's almost helpful to the diet. It's a strange comfort to know I have a tasty treat stowed away (perhaps I am part squirrel?) and I have caught myself saying "I don't need to buy this, I already have cookies in the freezer!"

So I'll have to decide if Girl Guide cookies will be my cool minty comfort food. Especially because I want to have them around for Christmas this year.

Random Act of Kindness #3

2010-10-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

Today's RAK is a little different. Rather than focus my energies on strangers (who might turn out to be jerks anyway) I decided to be kind to someone close to me -- my mother.

BTW, she totally follows my blog. And kindly ignores the sex jokes, binge drinking and variations on those two themes. Which is to say most of it.

Anyways, here is the letter I wrote for her:

Dear Mom,

Thank you for your ~~genetic contribution~~ unconditional love. It would be impossible to count all the wonderful things you've done for me over the years. BUT, I like a challenge. So here goes...

Things to thank you for:

Your nose.

Buying me a talking ninja turtle.

Not taking away the talking ninja turtle.

Buying spider man bandaids because they totally work better.

Unplugging the Nintendo.

Raising me, my sister and two dogs single-handedly. And making it look easy.

Teaching me how to shave.

Just rolling with it when I shaved my head.

Buying me a classical guitar even though I used it to play punk music.

Pretending you liked punk music.

Knocking.

Giving me my first box of condoms. Trogan Large. At Thirteen.

Pretending the walls in our house were soundproof.

Being right most of the time.

Not bragging about being right most of the time.

In short, you are like, awesome and stuff. I love you.

In It To Gym It

2010-10-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

You can now find me over at In It To Gym It, the group fitness and health blog started by the beautiful, talented LiLu, aka the person I would most want to have a daquiri sleepover with.

Art Imitates Life, or something like that.

2010-10-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

"She is not happy until everyone around her is panicked, nauseous, or suicidal."

This is a line from the Devil Wear Prada, when Andie is describing her first day to her boyfriend.

This, I can relate to.

Now I know that bosses all around the world in every facet of industry are notorious for being awful, evil, manipulative, and downright psychotic. In this line of thinking I am not unique. And my boss isn't especially awful, but she does have the power of making me feel like I am about to throw up and probably burst into tears. Chefs around the world are notorious for this, and I have the benefit of having a boss who is probably one of the nicest chefs, despite everything else. One day I hope to experience more of the nice and less of the nausea.

Sometimes I think that if I wrote about a fictional world, with fictional people doing fictional things I might be more successful. In theory fiction means writing anything you'd like because there are an infinite amount of situations you can find yourself describing, and, if you're writing science fiction they don't even have to be realistic.

But I don't write about fictional people, I write about real people. Real people in my life, real situations I encounter, real constraints of plausibility and reality.

Which is why I think, that writing isn't so easy for me. Not because I am bound by the retelling of real events, no I have plenty of material in my life for that, but because writing about this life involves replaying, and revisiting these exact situations. . This isn't always a good thing.

Two horrendous back to back days of work preceded by a terrible service on Saturday has made me avoid writing like it's a bad ex-boyfriend.

I'm trying to leave work at work and my personal life at home, which is hard when everyone you work with wants to know the minutiae of your entire existence. And then I get to come home and obsess about things I did or maybe did not do at work. Did I remember to do everything at close? Is the door locked? Did I forget any extra requests? Is there catering tomorrow? Am I actually supposed to come in when I think I'm supposed to? Throw in the fact that I have started to flinch every time I hear my name because I am expecting to get yelled at (a current trend in my work-life) and I'm pretty much a mess 24/7.

It's exhausting. I'm mentally exhausted. But I have written 1300 words thus far, I have so many more in my head that hopefully sometime soon, with a glass of wine in hand, I'll recant in print. For now I'm at least trying to maintain some level of creative work because it makes me feel less guilty about writing so slowly. I started a painting that is nearly complete, and I have been picking out paint samples and fabric swatches for my room in my new place. I move in 10 days and I am *so* excited. In 10 days I'll also be going down to 2 shifts a week at work, which is great for my anxiety issues, but slightly sad for my wallet.

Hopefully it'll also give me more time to focus on activities. Fingers crossed.

A Letter To The Universe

2010-10-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Universe,

I do not appreciate your constant line up of temptations. If you didn’t know, I am trying to lose the extra padding around my midsection, even though it is winter here and clearly I need it for heat. First, I am was making a Very Good Decision© by getting a soy latte at Starbucks, yet you insisted on surrounding me with pictures of delectable coffee treats like the Pumpkin Spice Latte (only here for a limited time!). Even Second Cup has a PSL now, so nowhere is safe from your blatant marketing tactics.

Several times since starting this fitness program, your evil mignons my kind-hearted co-workers have brought in baked goods and treats. I resisted. And today, just when I thought I was safe having driven by the giant waffle billboard and several Tim Hortons locations, I opened the mailbox to find this flyer.

And it doesn’t stop there. I get emails about ice cream flavours at Marble Slab, or I pass by a DQ with their Blizzard of the Month flavour prominently displayed. Even surfing the web isn’t safe as I stumbled across this. (It’s healthy! It says so!)

You haven’t even limited your tricks to me, as poor Tom had the chance at free Dr. Pepper (which he loves more than me, I suspect) at his conference.

Cruel. That’s what you are. Please remedy the situation by making my next lotto ticket a winner. Also, please send $5 for said lotto ticket.

Love,

Erin

Weigh-In Monday #3

2010-10-18T16:38:00.000-07:00

Weight    BF %    Chest    Waist    Hips    Right Thigh    Right Bicep (flexed)
154.3      30.1       37"        33"       41.5"   24.5"              12.5"
148.9      28.5       35"        32.5"    41"      23"                 12.5"
150.3      29.0       35"        31"      40.75" 24"                 12"

Total Weight Lost: +1.4lbs
Total Inches Lost: +0.25"

I don't feel too badly about the gains this week because I lost so much the first week. I am pretty sure the first week was mostly water weight and that I looked like this:

Also, this was a short week for us due to the Newlyweds engagement party (big fun!). This week is a long one, so hopefully the results will be good next week!

Random Act of Kindness #2

2010-10-15T11:31:00.000-07:00

So after the success of RAK #1, I decided to get even more ambitious. I walked next door to my neighbour's house and offered to walk their dog for them.

Please, don't think of me as a hero.

Anyways, "Bodie" is an adorable Australian shepherd puppy. He comes up to about knee height but could probably jump clear over me if he were so inclined.

Wait, are you saying you offered to play with your neighbour's puppy? For FREE?

That's right. Because I care.

My neighbour was actually quite surprised by my offer:

"You want to take Bodie? For a walk? Bodie? Walking?"

"Um... Yes?"

Bodie watched the whole thing go down with that curious puppy head-tilt that was so adorable it belied his fiendish intelligence. He waited patiently by the door.

After a thorough briefing slash agreement of zero-liability, in which the words "he's a puller" and "uncatchable" featured prominently, Bodie and I took to the streets.

As we neared the end of the block I made to go right, towards the park. Bodie assured me, emphatically, that this was not in fact the way to go.

Fair enough pup, I'll play your game.

Before we go any further, it should be noted that Bodie does not "walk" in the literal sense. His is more a canter, which is liable to explode into a full run should a cat, squirrel, or friggin' leaf dare to move in his presence. His determined gait makes it clear that this is no mere "walk" but something akin to a death march: you fall behind, you get left behind, human.

After several minutes of twists and turns, I am now thoroughly lost in my own neighbourhood. Rounding a corner, we reach the park. I still don't know how.

Eager to burn off some of this pup's energy (oh my youthful naivete), I picked up a nearby stick for a game of fetch. Lobbing it across the field, Bodie found his fifth gear and chased after it.

Unfortunately, Bodie has mastered this game; in that he now knows if he gives the stick back to you, you'll just throw it away again. Humans can be so silly.

Given the combination of Red Bull and steroids that my neighbours must be feeding him, it took a long time to catch him. Evidently he has also mastered "chase".

After what felt like (and probably was) hours, I returned a perfectly content and innocent-looking Bodie to his rightful owner. Then I went home ~~for a much needed bubble bath~~ for a beer all manly-like.

And you know what? I think I'll do it again.

Holy Food Hangover

2010-10-12T17:40:00.000-07:00

It's brutal. Apparently part of this plan is to make you suffer twice as much after a cheat day since you are eating cleanly six days out of seven. Makes me not want to cheat though! Except for the chocolate swirl cheesecake squares someone brought to work today. I sure wanted those.

On the upside, I had a great run today!

Weigh-In Monday #2 - The Turkey Edition!

2010-10-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

It's that special time again. Here are my stats updated.

Weight    BF %    Chest    Waist    Hips    Right Thigh    Right Bicep (flexed)
154.3      30.1       37"        33"       41.5"   24.5"              12.5"
148.9      28.5       35"        32.5"    41"      23"                 12.5"

Total Weight Lost: 5.4lbs
Total Inches Lost: 4.5"

I'm guessing that's a whole lot of water weight lost since I can't really keep up the hydration the way I should until we have a bathroom again (probably today! YAY!). But still, progress in the right direction! This might just work after all!

Now Tom and I are off to have breakfast with the Newly Engageds and kick off the start of a glorious Thanksgiving Cheat Day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-10-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

Okay. So. We are making resolutions.

It is October, which means NaNoWriMo is just a few weeks away and every amateur, semi-professional, professional, and just really enthusiastic about writing individual I know will soon be pledging to write an entire novel in one month. This is INSANE, no?

Well okay, maybe it's not so much. There are many more insane things a person could do for a month. Like pledge to become a crocodile hunter. That would be more insane.

However I recognize that for me, an individual with the least amount of motivation ever documented outside the animal kingdom of sloths, pledging to complete an entire novel, or an entire chapter of a novel (hell perhaps even the first page of a novel) in one month is ridiculous. It is so far outside the realm of reasonable that if 'reasonable' was the Sun this particular goal is chillin' next to Pluto.

(Maybe the added volume of such high expectations could function to restore Pluto to its former planet status. That would be a nice additional bonus.)

So, my resolution is this:

I'm getting a jump on NaNoWriMo as it were. I'm pledging to start now on completing some body of writing, in the hopes that by the new year I won't have to make this a "New Years Resolution." Hopefully by then writing will be a habit, or at least a well engrained hobby.

Realistically I don't have enough material to make up a novel. But I can start to write, and maybe one day this writing will turn into something bigger.

So there you have it. Now I'm off to open a word document and give it a title and see if I can't jot down a few lines.

Accountability - now there's a motivator.

Workout Modifications That Will Kick Your Ass

2010-10-08T16:44:00.000-07:00

I conned Tom into training me on Thursday night, which was a great ass-kicking. It's awesome to go around with someone who knows as much about fitness and training as Tom does. It also hurts. A lot. He had me do a few modifications that really made a huge difference in my weight routine (we did lower body weights).

Continuous Reps
Instead of pausing at the peak of every rep (no matter what exercise), Tom had me go up to 80% of the rotation, then continue to the next one without pausing. It was an easy way to make things more challenging, without adding more weight. This is especially good for me because I am paranoid of a) dropping the weights and b) putting on so much muscle I am mistaken for Tom's short and sturdy body guard.
From Machines To Free Weights
It's simple, and it's said quite often, but moving to free form weights from machine weights makes one hell of a difference. I'm told it's because it becomes a compound exercise (which works more than one muscle group at once) and it works the stabilizer muscles and your control at the same time. I think it's because they are really heavy, and it feels like everyone is watching so you don't want to quit early.
Hitting A True Ten
If you're ever feeling lazy in the gym, take someone with you to push you that extra 10%. Tom is definitely not afraid to take an exercise to failure, as evidenced by him throwing up during his run the other day.
Racing to a Secondary Exercise
After completing my sets, he'd have me get off the machine as fast as possible to do a secondary exercise that works the same group. OW.

50 Random Acts of Kindness

2010-10-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

When I was approached to write for this blog, I had not fully appreciated the magnitude of the request. I racked my mind for days to come up with a resolution, yet somehow "I resolve to keep being awesome" seemed too ~~arrogant~~ easy.

Now I know what you're thinking:
But Pie, how do you improve on perfection?

Alas, dear friends, this is my burden. I have no real vices (except pie, caffeine, and pie. Seriously don't touch my pie I will fight you) and I already have a killer bod (experiences may vary).

Then it hit me. I should spread some of this awesomeness around. Give back to the community.

Again, I know what you're thinking:
But Pie, it's too cold to walk around topless!

And you're right. So I came up with the next best thing: over the coming weeks I will perform no less than 50 random acts of kindness.

RAK #1

Strolling into my local coffee shop, I decided to buy coffee for the next person behind me, whoever it should be. Now this was a ballsy move, considering yesterday's debacle.

Thankfully, the next customer to walk in was a charming young mother with a stroller. Or a baby thief, I never did check. While she seemed genuinely surprised, she graciously accepted my offer to buy her coffee.

It went down like this:

Me to cashier: "I'd like to buy this nice woman's coffee please."

Young Mother: "Oh! Well thank you. I was going to have a tea actually."

Me: "That wasn't part of the deal." What? I'm new at this.

YM: "Oh... well I guess I could have a coffee." Damn straight.

And you know what guys? It felt good. She was genuinely appreciative, like her faith in humanity had been restored (the coffee really is that good).

Oh! And I got TWO stamps on my coffee card! Score.

Day #3 - No Cheats

2010-10-06T16:19:00.000-07:00

Day 3 and I haven't cheated yet! It's like a Christmas miracle in October (which, considering the Christmas section is already up in the Bay so, not a huge stretch).

We're facing the first potential scandalon (Greek for stumbling block, thank YOU only thing I remember from my Early Christian Writings class) and that is picking our cheat days around social events. Our normal cheat day is Sunday (right before Weigh-In Mondays in the hopes that we don't overdo it) but we have a birthday event on Saturday for a fabulous woman AND Thanksgiving on Monday (om nom nom). What to do, what to do.

I took my before photos last night and oh my, it wasn't pretty. I have decided that my greatest fear (besides having those photos posted ANYWHERE without my hopefully awesome after photos) is that I will make it to the end of the 12 weeks and not look or feel any different. And then I will have missed Pumpkin Spice Latte season for nothing.

On the upside, our bathroom is nearly done which means the extra hydration will no longer cause me to drive to Tim Hortons ~~all the damn time~~ once in a dainty while.

Weigh-In Monday #1

2010-10-05T16:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's Tuesday, but I weighed in yesterday so it TOTALLY counts.

STARTING STATS:

Weight BF % Chest Waist Hips Right Thigh Right Bicep (flexed)
154.3 30.1 37" 33" 41.5" 24.5" 12.5"

Hold me.

Revenge of the Baked Goods

2010-10-04T17:30:00.001-07:00

It's Day One so, of course, there were chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen at work this morning. I took a deep breath and walked by (yay!).

I happily munched my second meal and went to the gym where I rowed out my HIIT program instead of running because my knee hurts and I want to be able to play in my soccer tournament on Wednesday (*gasp* runonsentence *gasp*).

I got back from the gym and the chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen had been joined by cupcakes. Seriously?!

Too bad, tasty baked goods and the intending-to-be-kind-but-really-evil souls who provided them. You won't sucker me in!

Tom and I are going to weigh in tonight (yikes!) and take our before pictures (DOUBLE YIKES!) and we decided to have "friendly" "competition" between us to see who can lose more by body fat percentage. Anyone who knows us knows that this will most likely end in a fist fight (which I will win) (because I will cheat) (shut up, he's a 200lb, 6ft tall rugby player!).

Starting stats to come (be afraaaaaid).

A journey of a 1000 miles starts with a single step.

2010-10-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

"We all want to change the world"- Beatles
Far be it from me to challenge the Beatles, but really what asshat thinks they can change the world. Everything in this world is a journey, instead of just thinking of the large goals, take it one step at a time.
I've made the decision to change myself and see what follows.

I am going to complete another cycle of 'Body for Life' which is a 12 week program.

I've completed this once before and it was awesome, and also one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was fantastic and I've never felt better. Since then I've relaxed and just let the hard work slip away. I'm not out of shape but I know I've been fitter.
The plan for tomorrow. Six meals, 1 trip to the gym, just one day, not that hard.

Today

2010-10-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

Today, I hit my breaking point.

You know the days when everything feels wrong? That was today. Today I felt like I was a stranger in my own body, with no control over what happened to me. This isn't just about weight loss; it's about reclaiming my body, my sense of self and my life. Today I begin a 12-week journey that I will stick to – no matter what.

About Me:

I'm a 23 year-old female, a graduate of the University of Toronto, a young professional, an editor, a reader, a writer, an athlete, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, and a partner.

I suffered a knee injury in the spring which has left me overweight, and I am determined to change that.

My Goals:

Food & Drink:

I will…

· Eat five meals a day, balanced with protein, complex carbohydrates, veggies and fruits

· Drink 3 litres of water a day

· Eat only one refined carb per day (1 slice of whole grain toast)

· Be allowed one cheat day a week where I can relax on the "I will not" list

I will not…

· Drink alcohol (sigh), coffee (SOB), or pop

· Eat anything processed

· Overdo it on my cheat days

Exercise

I will…

· Work out five days a week, aiming for six

· Weight train twice a week

· Do cardio three times a week

· Do yoga one day a week

· Put in 110% (just for you, baby) effort into these workouts

I will not…

· Use my bad knee as a excuse

Personal

I will…

· Weigh and measure in every Monday

· Take progress photos on the first Monday of every month

· Stick to my financial budget, because money stress = FAT ME

· Take the supplements that keep my thyroid happy, and me less certifiable

Let's see how drastically I can change my life.

Everything Comes From Now

Recipe: Maple Salmon & Roasted Asparagus

Maple Salmon:

Roasted Asparagus

Goals For This Week

The Number On The Scale Scares Me

Jamie Eason Is Trying To Kill Me

Hello! I've Had WAY Too Much Coffee.

Operation Wedding Dress

Okay I Was Totally Hiding

Sad But True

The 6 Types Of People You Meet In The Gym

Day 61: After This Week, I'll Take It

Day 54: Oh Hai Tim Hortons

The 5 Best Tips For Starting To Lift Weights

Day 47: I Will Breathe

Day 28: 5 Tips For Choosing Protein Powders

Day 27: I Loves Me Some Cheat Day

Day 20: Cheat Day and Weight Update!

Day 18: Does Living Clean Mean No Social Life?

Day 15: Protein-y Recipes

Day 7: One Week Down!

Day 6: That's Pretty Much A Week, Right?

Day 5: Keep On Truckin'

Day 4: Food And More Food

Day 3: With A New Recipe!

Day 2: Ow

Day 1: Of Many, Many Days

Time for a Mon-tage

The Skinny Jeans Story

You May Call Me "Master of Salad"

No-Carb/Low-Carb Meals That I Actually Like

Crickets

Clawing My Way Back

*Yawn* *Stretch* How Was Your Week?

TRI TALK: The Epic Conclusion

Now I HAVE To Do This

It's Not You, I'm Just Hiding From My Triathlon

Not Enough

Pregnancy Isn't Contagious, Right?

Run, Run, Pant, Pant

My Adult Acne Story

The One About Coffee

Be Vewry Vewry Qwuiet

Wow, I Published This Without A Title - It Really Is Rambly

Apparently I'm An Indoor Cat

The "Reality" Of Beauty

Rants And Updates

Feelin' Fine

Day Six and Seven: The Final Results!

Day Five: I Feel Shitty, Oh So Shitty

Day Four: Oh God, The Bacon

Day Three: No Carbs Make E3 Something Something

The Primal Diet

Day 2: Mood – Stabby

It's Okay, I Don't Like Carbs Anyway *SOB*

How Math Cost Me 2km

Swimming: A How-To Guide

Mission:DIET

Excuses And Stuff (Now With More Crashing!)

Look Over Here

My Brain Is Mostly Mush

Dear January Warriors... GET THE %^&* Out of My Gym

Taking A Moment

Hitting Your Ten

Random Act of Kindness #8

Random Act of Kindness #7

Diet Dinner Party

The Never-Ending Saga of My Knee

Random Act of Kindness # 6

How video games made me a better person.

If It Hurts, Poke It With A Needle

Random Act of Kindness #5

Better late then never.

Weigh-In Monday: I'll Take It

Size matters

Weigh-In Monday...Err...Whenever I Feel Like It

Keeping Perspective

Weigh-In Monday #4 - Stuck At 150

Random Act of Kindness #4

Yawn Stretch How Was Your Week?

It's Okay, I Don't Like Carbs Anyway SOB